Last week, I was joined by my guest Tilewa Odedina who shared so many gems on having confidence in our calling.Our conversation was so impactful.This week serves as a continuation of our last conversation where we unpack what having confidence in our callings looks like on a practical level.This conversation covers a range of topics from taking that leap of faith, to perfecting our craft and trusting the process it's certainly not one to be missed.
But before you read further, take a minute to pause and appreciate how far you've come.You may not be where you want to be and that's okay.Progress over perfection always.I hope this conversation encourages you to take further steps into your calling, you're already on the right track.
Rhieme: Just to add, God is very strategic. I think for most people when they hear, they might panic or may feel like they have to take action immediately. But it’s actually more of God how do you want me to go about this? And really holding unto the word and protecting it before God says you can release if not people will kill it.Especially if they feel like a certain path isn’t for you.With you and banking, someone could have said why ould you make that switch? But the minute you said yes, God showed up. When you say yes and say yes with everything in you, He wouldn’t put you to shame. It’s never perfect when you say yes to God because it’s outside of your comfort zone.
Tilewa: And He needs to build your character as well. I always pray, God give me the character for where you're taking me because there are certain things that if you don't have the character for it, it can kill you. You can actually have so much power, but you don't have the right character for it. I don't want to be proud.If he doesn't give you the character before it’s not while you have the thing you start learning the character for it.
Rhieme: So important, because if you don’t, you basically pull yourself out of what God has pushed you into.That’s why it’s important not to rush. So many people are quick to get themselves there. And then they get there and they can't sustain themselves. It's through the whole process of God showing you different turns and maybe things not going as you want. He's like teaching you and saying if I take you here, you can't act like this. Or maybe people are questioning you and asking are you sure you're meant to be doing this? Because of where you've been and what God has spoken over you, it doesn’t shake you anymore.
Rhieme: So with Sticks & Grills, how did you know it was time for change?
Tilewa: I remember saying to God that and I'll be honest, I was like, catering is not glamorous, like I love to dress up like that was another thing I wanted to go into corporate styling. I was like with culinary it’s not glam, but my God made it glamorous for me. He was like it’s glam you want no problem we’ll go to France. He knows you.I also said God I don’t feel like I have the backing for it.By backing I meant there’s a lot of competition in the culinary industry in Nigeria. There are people that have been doing this for years,they have all the suppliers on lockdown.I felt like there was no space for me. The truth of the matter is before you even make the excuse He knows, He’s already prepared it.So what gave me the confidence? I'm not going to lie, I gained confidence when I got into Cordon Bleu because this is a school that I thought these things only happen in dreams. Even more confidence when I won the student of the month award, more confidence when I got valedictorian. When people reach out to me like you. Honestly, I do not take things for granted. I really don't I'm so humbled. When someone is like ‘you go girl’, or ‘proud of you’.It gives me more confidence, it boosts my confidence. Or when random people message me. For the longest time I suffered from imposter syndrome and this was while I was at the bank, it was a thing So I think God was also just removing all the logic, and all of that. Regarding how I knew it was time for change, God knows how to speak. He's not going to speak Italian to you. If He knows you don't understand Italian He's not going to speak in a language that you don't understand. He's not going to give you what is so difficult that he knows you never get what is the point, like if you're never going to get the word. So God spoke to me in a language understand and He used three instances to get me out of Access. The first time I'm like, I'm tough. I can do this. He gave me a second time by the third time I was like, this is God. You know the way your parents can call you and even if you haven’t seen the name they speak in a language that you're familiar with and you know is talking to you. He used a language that only I would know.
Rhieme: Wow and when you spoke about the role people have played it is so important. On the Skinneeds calls we’ve been speaking about that quite a lot. When you see talent in someone, it’s important to cheer them on or say something. No one has it figured out to be very honest.Most people really move based on faith and trying their best.It just emphasises how there's no competition everyone's supposed to be supporting each other in different ways. But people feel as though it’s impossible or wishful thinking. But we’re honestly not meant to be competing everyone has their own lane. But I think sometimes we can be so caught up in our bubbles.There's only so far you can go that way.That was one reason I knew God wanted me to introduce the spotlight segment to the blog. He was just saying there are so many people who are overlooked, or they overlook themselves and they think they have to have x y, z before they’re worth speaking about.He broke down the word ‘spotlight’ and explained it to mean spot my light in different people.
Tilewa: Wow that’s so deep.
Rhieme: I was shocked because I didn't get this at the start. He had brought the idea but I didn’t have this much knowledge.I remember how He was so specific about you.He was just saying it's so important we see people the way He sees them because sometimes we overlook others.We only highlight people who maybe have many awards.You can have awards and still not be walking in what God has for you. For God to put someone put there because of their light that’s the most important thing, who you are as a human being.That's one thing He's really taught me. Encouraging people, you don't lose anything.At the end of the day, it's free. Sometimes we put ourselves in a cage and limit support to people we know.Or fear comes in and we don’t want to come across as forward. But one thing He said is if He's the one telling you to send someone a message, or maybe leave a comment, you're not being forward, you're doing His will. With imposter syndrome, that’s definitely a big one especially when you have faith in God equipping you completely.Yeah, people definitely play a massive role.nJust to add to what you said about knowing when it was time for you to make the switch, God will always make it very clear.That's why it's important to know God's voice, you could tell it was God because the enemy doesn’t have access to you in that way.
Tilewa: There was something that happened to me in Paris and I was like God, is this you? Or is this not you? I was so conflicted and I just settled with God telling me I cannot allow the enemy to play you. I'm not going to sit here and watch my daughter being played by the enemy. He just said I love you too much to allow the enemy play. So I’m at peace when I am not sure if it's God's voice. When I'm not sure and I don't want to make the wrong move, I go on retreats. Just the act of leaving everything and going on a break to simply hear.
Rhieme: So important and it also depends on how badly you want God's will. Sometimes because of fear or what if I miss out on this, or shouldn't I be doing this? We get confused. The timeline that matters the most is God’s timeline. You can constantly be on the go yet you haven’t achieved anything and God can say take a break for a month or a year. By the time you're back, things people would have done in maybe five years you could end up doing them in a year.Thank you so much for sharing that because I feel like more people need to hear this.
Rhieme: Can you please share any unconventional processes you've had to go through whilst pursuing your calling?
Tilewa: There’s a word God gave me and it concerns what I'm going to do in a couple of years from now and has nothing to do with culinary. It was in that moment I realised one plus one, equals whatever God wants to do. It is not always linear, I stay in the bank then I become the manager and MD, then I own this. It can be from culinary to banking to Harvard it is not a linear way with God if not you’re going to put Him in a box, and you will be your own god. My life is unconventional. Leaving banking to go into culinary like from where to where? Even when I went into banking, I applied for strategy because that was the closest to consulting and God was like, you're going to HR. I was like, I'm sorry what? But that is where my blessing was sitting.God needed to deal with my pride like, who do you think you are that you can't be in HR? I was like I can't be in HR I feel like people would think I'm not working hard. I remember one of my mum's friends she asked me what unit I was in within Access. I rememeber her being like ‘HR?’ I can never forget how she said it and that was when I was like, is this thing so bad? That’s when I realised God had done so much in my heart that I was content and satisfied.Before when people will ask me I would say I’m doing talent strategies but it was HR.I tried to glam it up for the longest time. So that was the switch God needed me to make.
I remember another example was when my church was having a three-day event and I was really scared to do it because there were other vendors that were going to be there and stuff. I remember God wanted me to do it so I was like okay cool maybe God knows this is my breakthrough. I get to the conference on the first day and the food is ready when everyone had gone. I was thinking to myself why did you allow this happen? By the next day, God told me I don't want you to sell anything, I want you to give everything out.I remember there was a guy in my church and he did something to me that was very upsetting and I asked which department should I give to? God was like this guy’s department, and I was like what? I remember crying to my friend being like I knew that was God’s word but it hurt because I was wondering why didn’t you just tell me from the start? I remember my friend Tobi saying to me, ‘do you know sometimes God just wants to see the state of your heart? He wants to reflect the state of your heart to you’. He wanted to see if I’ll still do it even if it doesn’t make sense.
Rhieme: Wow to add to everything you’ve said, God is not conventional at all. What your friend said about God simply looking at the state of your heart is so key. I was just thinking about how that probably fed further to you saying yes to other things God said you should do. For example leaving banking, He could have done that to see how much you care about His will.Another thing is, He will never ask you to do something just for the fun of it.God has strategy, that’s one thing I’ve learnt.I guess just putting yourself in that position where He can do what He wants.So many people limit themselves to expressing themselves in a certain way.One thing you’ve shown me though is, it doesn’t matter what people have to say to be very honest.
Tilewa: Because they’re going to say it anyways.
Rhieme: Yeah, they always will. They always will. But I feel like the people that talk the most are the people that have limited themselves the most.Your life is way more interesting than putting yourself in a box. We have so much within us and sometimes we want to limit ourselves so it doesn’t look like we’re ‘doing too much’.There’s nothing like doing too much when it’s God within you.
Tilewa:Yeah, you will have to do much, you must do too much that’s the truth because He’s called you to stand out. You're not going to do the normal.You have to stand out you’re a city set on a hill. How are they going to see the glory of God through if you're blending in with the whole world? I remember when I was at Access, they were like you’re carrying Access bank on your head. This was even before they chose me as the face of Access. I always used to wear heels to work and no one really liked wearing heels and I’m already walking with a bit of a strut. But the thing is that they could not fault my work because I was always doing the most but it led to something. Look at Moses he was like I can’t speak, I stammer, God was like your brother will speak for you but you’ll still go.
Rhieme: And I've even learnt that when you submit to God's unconventional ways, that's when His glory shows the most, it’s so obvious it can only be God. I still wonder how did you just get into an institution and like four months in you’re already student of the month? Most of the time, when we hear what God has to say, we measure it based on what we've seen. But He’s there are different expressions of Him. He can choose to express himself in whichever way but if you limit Him to what you already see, there’s no point. You can't add to what God wants, it’ll no longer be His will. I'm quite similar to you, because nothing about anything that has happened in my life is conventional. That's all I can say. Sometimes I complain and I’m like why me? But I guess the question now is why not you?
Rhieme: Can you please share advice you’ll give someone whose at the borderline of making a major life change?
Tilewa:I think definitely take out time to go away and hear from God. If you don't know how to hear from God, learn how to hear from Him first then go away. Retreats, you can't substitute that. You can't.There is so much power in shutting everything down and going away just to hear from God. Just to speak to him. Take your journal write everything.It may not make sense now, but that's okay. It will make sense later. Just write it down, write the vision, make it plain. So when it's time, when that day comes, you will understand, you will go back and look at the vision you and you will have your reason on why you're doing something. That's the first thing I'll say, hear from God. Understand how He speaks to you master His voice. I think the second thing will probably be write down your strengths. You can ask people, ask your best friends. Can you give me three things? My friends and I are always doing this like every year. Find out the things that if you wake up at 2am it comes to you naturally.
The third thing would be getting a mentor and not a mentor that’s based on ‘oh I just like how she looks’. Sometimes your mentor may not be in the same career path as you. Find a mentor that you know you can respect, someone that you believe in their values and look up to. Because if the mentor tells you to do something, you don't want to be second guessing everything they say.Be drawn to that mentor so it's not a chore. Build a relationship first.Sometimes when you even get close to them, you realise actually, I don't want this person to be my mentor.You need someone that is much older, much more experienced than you.Someone that is rooted in Christ, they can speak to about stuff you can catch up on. Research is literally power, knowledge is key. If you think you're going to do something that's that exists, or that does not exist without reading, without researching, you're joking.
I was just watching something before I got on this and it was talking about grace. Grace is partnering with God, He will give you grace for a place but you also have to do the work.He has given me grace for Cordon Bleu, but I have to wake up at 6am, I have to study. Nobody knows the amount of time to work I do. Nobody sees the sacrifice but I put in the work. I do my research. I don't believe in just hopping onto something because you feel like, okay, God has told me to do this thing. Research and even when you're there, keep researching buy books. I am in culinary school, but I'm still going on Amazon to buy so many cookbooks, because I'm like, I want to learn. I want to be the best at this thing. I've always said it. I want to be the master my craft. I want to be the best. I remember it’s a Kobe mentality thing, Mamba mentality.I remember reading about him, he would always say, ‘ I can assure you when we’re on the court, I’ll beat you because I trained better than you.' You know that kind of confidence. Imagine having grace, favour then you’re putting in the work. You cannot be lazy because of the word. People want to be lazy based on ‘God said’. For many people, especially guys they can say God said you’re my wife, but you don’t want to behave like my husband. You literally don't want to do the work. One more, test all spirits.Test that something is working first.
Yes, God wants you to be a fashion designer.You don't know if people are going to like your things, you have to apply wisdom. You can order 5000 and you now realise no one likes it. When God says something, I think some people forget you actually have to put in the work. On a practical level, you also have to build yourself up.
Rhieme: God is also practical He can actually tell you what to read and look at.Just putting yourself in that position where no one can actually question you because they know you’ve done the work. You also spoke about mentors and people seeking advice from older people. As you said, it’s so important to not reach out someone randomly and be like ‘can you be my mentor? They need to know what you have to offer and if you’re really worth the time because they have things of their own they're doing. I guess you also have to ask yourself what do you have to bring to the table? Also what you said on testing the word. You can see so many people jumping onto something. It could be for you but it may not be your time. I remember there’ll be times when I asked God what about me? But I’ve learnt that God cares more about who I am becoming rather than what I’m doing.You can see everyone coming up with something and all but as you said if it's from God, it will be sustained and He will give you strategy.
Tilewa: I think there's one last thing I forgot to say regarding making borderline decisions, I did it afraid.I remember Demi saying to me when we were coming back from a retreat. I remember saying to her, Demi I feel like God has said I should do Sticks & Grills full time but I’m so scared. She was like ‘just do it afraid’. You’re going to be afraid.It just reminds me of a pregnant woman. Pregnant women are usually excited but I don’t think any pregnant person wouldn’t tell you their heart isn’t pumping about the delivery process. You’re not going to say because I’m afraid I’m not going to give birth to this baby.You’re definitely going to have to do it afraid.To run a business, you’re going to be afraid. It’s more of your heart like ‘what if no one buys this?’ Nobody's that confident because there’ll be things that will shake you.
Rhieme:Yeah thank you for that. When those feelings come, as you said let God order your steps.When you write down everything He’s saying, you can at least go back to what He’s spoken over you and affirm yourself with those truths. It's definitely scary, especially when you can't see anyone doing what you're doing. That's when it's even scarier. As you said in the corporate world, there's more structure, you know, you're going to be paid every month, you have set hours.When you're running your own business, it’s completely different but at least you know you have God’s word. I've learnt that as much people supporting you is great, they don't always see you as God sees does. So when you need a confidence booster, I feel like the first resort should actually be going back to God’s word. When you say God is ordering your steps, your life isn’t in the hands of people, regardless of whether or not they support you, you keep going. I don't know if this has happened to you but sometimes there’s a heaviness that comes when it’s time to release something.You have to make that decision, are you going to stay afraid? Or are you going to do it afraid and see what happens? Because it's always better to do it afraid, you never want to look back and say if only I had done x.
Tilewa: What do you have to lose? That’s what I was saying to myself. I'm not going to loose anything. I’m young, I'm not married, I don't have kids. Like if I don't do it now, when would I do it? So I think we have an advantage just being young. That’s a bit of a daring mentality but I had it for that season of my life.
Rhieme: So good. One thing God has taught me is the importance of maximising when you're young. Sometimes we spend half the time afraid and just stay in sadness.Then we see other people doing different things and we're like what about me? You’re both human, it’s just one person has chosen to step out and the other has chosen to stay stuck. Some people look back at their lives and say they haven’t accomplished or done anything but the question is how many times did you choose to say yes to God when He was saying there's this opportunity-take it? When you say yes to God, you will never be at a disadvantage.There may be people who are like what is she doing? But at the same time there are also people who are in the same position as you.Mazino and Ruth have this community called Anavah and it’s all about supporting Kingdom builders and I was so encouraged, because everyone there wants to pursue everything God has called them to do.
Tilewa: Also with competition I feel like a lot of people are sometimes built to be competitive. I was very athletic in school, my coach had put in my head you have to be number one. Sometimes it’s not very good competition, because you will always want to be on top and sometimes it's not your season to be number one in the way you've seen it. One thing I’ve learnt is your network is your net worth. When I say your network is your net worth it’s drawing on things you cannot do and not being ashamed to say this person is better at it me. Use that person because you clearly can't do it look for people that can. We always ask God why can't you just help me do that? I remember talking to my best friend Dolapo we were applying for consulting at the same time and we got very similar grades in uni.She was getting them and I wasn’t getting anything. I remember I was like what is it that Dolapo is doing that I'm not doing? Like what am I not getting? He was like because she has very different skills from you. We need to figure out how to work in community,what fellowship is about with people. It’s how you draw on everyone's strengths.
Rhieme: So key because as much as God has given us different gifts and talents no one has everything. Sometimes people think if they ask for help, they're weak but that’s not true. If anything through asking someone for help, you're also honouring them and supporting them in their own gift. It's crazy because you don't know how you're helping the other person in what God has asked them to do. God also likes that dependency on people because it shows you trust His spirit in them.That’s definitely something I've struggled because I don't usually rely on people but I've now learnt I'm only going to go so far with that. With the blog and everything I've been doing they wouldn't be anything if it wasn't for other people to be very honest. I just feel like everyone always makes it seem you're working against this person. You feel like this when you don't have enough confidence in who God has made you to be. That's when you start seeing other people as competition and all.
Rhieme: Do you have any last words?
Tilewa: No, I just think honestly what God is doing in your life is just so phenomenal. I think even the spirit of excellence I don't know if that's something that you've been told before. The spirit of excellence is over you and you can just see it. That's why when you said can you do an interview I didn't think twice, well done.
How did you find this conversation? I'll love to hear your thoughts in the comments.Make sure you check out Sticks & Grills and stay tuned for next week!
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