Over the last few conversations I've been joined by a couple of guests who have spoken on the importance of intentionality and having confidence in our respective fields.It's one thing to know where you've been called to and another to stay true to yourself.I've come to realise that living authentically is truly what sets us apart, makes us unique and opens up doors that are unique to us.We hear this all the time but sometimes find it difficult to put it into practise.This week I'm joined by my guest Lamide Odanye who has set an example of what it means to make authenticity a lifestyle.
She has nearly ten years of volunteering experience and over five years advocating for youth employment and a ‘soft skills’ focused education system. She currently works at the Greater London Authority and aspires to change the world by influencing policies and rules on education and young people.
She is the co-founder of LIVE (Learn, Inspire, Visualise, Elevate), a mentoring programme for students in Years 8-13 from low socioeconomic backgrounds. LIVE focuses on teaching young people soft transferable skills required for the professional environment and has the long term aim of reducing the rate of youth unemployment and increasing social mobility. LIVE has worked with over 250 young people and has received partnership contracts from about six companies, including KPMG, Penguin Random House and Hewlett Packard Enterprise.In her spare time, she is a Content Creator/Youtuber.
Our conversation was so wholesome and a great confidence booster to anyone who has been struggling to stay grounded.
Rhieme: Hi Lamide, thank you so much for joining us today. Can you please tell us a bit about yourself?
Lamide: Hello, I'm Lamide and I’m 23 years old. I currently work in politics. So doing stuff in skills and employment, and I’m really interested in the policy side of it. I am the co -founder of a social enterprise called LIVE. So that stands for learn, inspire, visualise, elevate. What we do is teach soft skills to young people, especially those from low socio- economic backgrounds. So we do that for those from year 8 to 13 so age 8-12. The main soft skills we teach are confidence, creativity, communication, leadership, and networking. We just feel as if that will help those age groups really thrive in all areas of their lives, irrespective of what they wish to do or what they define to be success. Oh yeah, I'm a YouTuber and a content creator. My YouTube channel is all about lifestyle and navigating life after university and adulthood. Just exploring how to be as well prepared for it as possible whilst living authentically.
Rhieme: Thank you so much for sharing. I love what you do at LIVE. When I came across it, I was like, wow, because most people don’t focus on soft skills. So let's get straight into it. So what does purpose mean to you?
Lamide: Yes, when I thought of this question, I was like this is so interesting because for me, growing up, that was always my question what does purpose mean? How do you define it? I've come to a point where I've concluded that purpose to me means worshipping with God, your lifestyle glorifies God in all you do. Within your purpose you have a specific calling which allows you do set things that God has asked you to do. In all, I truly believe every human’s purpose is to worship God in everything.
Rhieme: I love that, and I completely agree. I love what you mentioned about your calling being more specific within that. Meaning everything else you do should be for God, it’s not for your personal gain.Thank you for sharing that.
Rhieme: How have you had the courage to live authentically? How are you able to know when you're expressing yourself in your truest form?
Lamide: In terms of courage to live authentically, I have limited energy. Though I'm very energetic and bubbly, my energy is quite limited. For me it takes more energy for me to live like somebody else and not be my authentic self than it is to be my authentic self. It makes sense for me to do what requires less energy and just be my true self. Then also another reason in terms of the courage, I take the Bible as it is. For example if I’m reading Joshua and thinking about biblical characters around my age group who had big callings on their life and had to do hard and cool things; the only way they could actually do it is if they were true to themselves. when I look like Joshua, Daniel, Jeremiah, or David, those are the four main people that I go to look for inspiration from. When reading Joshua one verse six, when it says, be strong and courageous, because this is what I'm going to do get the Israelites into the promise land. I’m like okay cool be strong and courageous then like, let's be bold and courageous. Let me actually be bold and courageous in what I’ve been asked to do.If I’m going to do this let's do it properly, to the full extent. So I think for me, it's looking at those people and seeing how they're able to make such an impact at a young age, and it's also knowing that I'm not doing it on my own strength, like having the Holy Spirit with me allows me to tap into that energy. There are some spaces that it's so easy for you to shrink back and fit into the mould. But what good is that? That's so boring. No if that was the case, I wouldn't have been created to be the way I am. In terms of the second part of the question, how do you know, when you're expressing yourself in your truest form? I think sometimes you know retrospectively or when you come to crossroads. There are certain moments you wouldn't really know, unless you're put in that situation and you have options. Are you going to fold or are you going to stand firm and stay true to who you are?
And when I do stand firm and say actually, no, I'm not going to do that because I don't like that or that's not really me, then I know, I'm being true to myself. In those moments, I'm able to look at past experiences. An experience could be when I graduated, I was looking for a job and I was like God I need a job before I graduate on the 17th of July 2019. Like, I'm ready to have my grad job. Those days came, still unemployed. Then fast forward to August, then two jobs come. One was ready to accept verbally then another one I preferred came up as well. So in this moment I’m like do I still go and meet the team knowing that I’m not going to be there for long? Or do I say sorry a better opportunity came up and I’m unable to take this job at the moment but thank you for the opportunity. So, it was really hard to make those decisions because even with the other one that came up at that point, I was speaking in faith that I'll get that job. But they hadn't called me, I was just interviewed and that was it. So it's like who do you want to be? What characteristics do you want to have? What values do you uphold? Integrity to me is extremely important. I'm not going to make a bad name for myself because I'm just picking, dropping, picking and dropping people. I can meet them in the future, and they'll remember me as the person who started to talk to them and suddenly left. Or they can remember me as somebody who was honest and true.I think it's about thinking about the type of person you want to be.Putting yourself in different situations allows you express that. But also knowing you're still growing. There’ll be times you feel down and be like oh wow I wasn’t my true self there, I wasn't as real I wanted to be. But just know there’s another opportunity for you to do that next time.
Rhieme: Wow I love what you said, you've said a lot I’ll recap. I love how you’ve set your foundations and everything you live on based on the Bible. You’ve gone back to people who responded to God's calling when they were quite young and that's so good. I've actually never thought of doing that. Going back to what you said and what purpose means to you, if you say everything you do is for God's glory, then the way you do it should be for God. It should be directly linked with His word and everything. Also what you mentioned about looking back on experiences, and comparing it to your current situation and asking is this how I would typically behave in this type of situation? It's so important because it shows you're actually being intentional about your life, and you will take stock rather than going with anything that comes. Especially what you said about jobs that stuck with me, because now everyone's like what next? It's so easy for you to jump on anything that comes.
Rhieme: In a video I came across, you spoke about a phase where you weren't doing as well as you previously had academically.How were you able to see yourself outside of your grades?
Lamide: It was hard. It was really hard because especially growing up when you're known as the smart one or the academically gifted one and then to not deliver at that rate anymore at a crucial point. Those grades determine what universities I go to. For me success was like you work hard then you do well but I’m working hard and not only am I not doing well, I’m doing terribly. Some of them I might as well not have shown up because of how badly I was doing I'm revising hard, I’ve got a tutor. I just had to realise I can't base my identity on anything that is movable. Like it can't be anything that's external because that's always going to change, society will change it, things won't happen the way I want it to happen. And it's it's not, it's not wise to do so. Also my faith really helps me knowing that my identity is truly rooted in Christ because that way, the more I know, God, the more I know myself. If He’s telling me I’m beautifully and wonderfully made whether I get a D, or I get an A I’m beautifully and wonderfully made like who cares? Well, it's still important, but it's not like‘wow it’s who I am’. I'm not consumed by that anymore because I know outside of that there's so much more to me.I think that's the point as well, knowing that outside of my grades, I still have interest, I'm still like a kind person, I still display the fruit of the Spirit. I still have a lot of hobbies and things going for me. So I think it's knowing that I have options. So my academics are not the only way me to be what I deem to be successful.
Rhieme: I love that especially what you said about finding yourself in God. That's actually something I've started doing recently, because I realised academics are important. No one's saying they're not. But everything about you was just based on going to school and getting good grades, is so boring. There’s so much more to you. And even what you mentioned about how you can just pick up something else, you can look at other things you're good at. It is so important, because these days, like everyone defines success based on, going to school, getting into top universities, getting a first etc. But now I feel believe success is you doing what God wants you to do at that point in time and showing up as that person. It’s not always about what you're doing, but who you are as a person. So what you said about, the fruit of the Spirit is so important if you say you're a Christian and you want to live life God's way.He cares about your grades but what matters to Him is if you’re in alignment with His will.
Lamide: Just to add another thing I think in second to final year of A Levels I failed like I got a D and an E in two subjects I worked hard for it took me aback. So when it came to uni, I was like I need to get first otherwise everything I do is pointless. My family and friends had an intervention and they were like okay Lamide we understand you want to work hard and get a first but what happens if you don’t get a first? I think at that point that question about ‘what happens if you don't get first?’ was so absurd to me because that was not a possibility.To me it was like first or die. But then I had to explore the idea of what if I don’t get a first? You can get a first-then what? Have you enjoyed your university experience? Have you grown as an individual? Even if you want to dowell academically now what? What does that mean? Because a lot of people I find become underwhelmed when they reach that point of success because they've made it like an idol. Or they made it so important in their eyes. And it's like okay yeah, you got a first well done, people move on the next day. So it's actually like if I should get this thing that I deem as so important what does it mean in the grand scheme of things? With things like this, it’s very important to think about it logically because if not you can get a really imbalanced view.
Rhieme: Yeah as you said, what next after that, what else is there to you than just I got a first? What about your social skills? Sometimes we go through life without being whole people. So I know I was doing that for a while. It was all about getting good grades, good schools etc but less attention to the more important aspects like my character. It's your character and other unique things about you that will sustain you. I spoke to someone, and she spoke about how she didn’t get past the interview stage because the interviewers wanted to learn more about her but she didn’t explore that side to herself. They wanted to really know what type of person she was and all. So yeah, that's important thank you for emphasising that.
Rhieme: With everything you've gone through how have you been able to embrace the timeline of your life and your process?
Lamide: I've accepted that my success is inevitable. So to me, that's the fact- I will be successful, I will make and I will do all the things God wants me to do. So there's no point stressing about, ‘Oh, when am I when am I going blow?’ ‘When am I going to do this?’ Because it's going to happen. It's just a matter of when and it's knowing that God’s mind is better than mine anyways so why, stress about something that I know is going to happen? I think once that's out of the way, it gives me more mental space to explore and enjoy the process. I used to see things as a means to an end. So everything I'll do will be to get a good grades or get rich.Then I was like no, things should be enjoyed as ends in themselves. So when I was learning during that intervention period, I was like now I need to learn just for the sake of learning. Let me explore how brilliant my brain is and turns out I have a fantastic brain so thank you Lord. If everything I was doing was just to get to write a good essay, rather than critically think about the things I'm writing rather than have different conversations improve my argument skills and my persuasive writing, then I wouldn’t be able to know I have the ability. I think is just being able to enjoy things as themselves in my current role I'm not going to be here for forever. So how can I make the most out of this position? You know when you don’t always want to use the Bible genuinely, it always just goes back to the Bible. I'm reading Colossians 3:23 and it says you have to work as if you’re working unto the Lord. So if I’m working unto the Lord, even if this season is more boring than others, how can I express God’s glory? How can I be a good witness to others around? How can I make sure people are like wow there’s something about her, when you give her a mundane task, she still does it with joy. So, it's using all the different opportunities to develop your practice. The worst thing, I believe anyways, that can happen is you get all the things you've prayed for, but you're not ready for it. You don’t actually make sure it’s as good as it could be because you failed to do the developmental work when you should have. When I actually thought about it was like okay, if I should get everything, I want tomorrow would I be ready? And the answer was no. So I'd rather just get it when I'm actually ready for it and that way, I will truly enjoy and know that it's not wasted and know that I can actually be happy as well as God intended.
Rhieme:That is so important, especially what you said about being ready. We're always like God when? If God should give it to us now, are we ready? If you're not ready, when you get that blessing, or whatever it is you may not steward over it properly. So definitely thinking are you doing the necessary work in this moment? It's not always about the end goal, but rather focusing on the present moment and trying your best. Especially with uni, it's something I'm trying to learn as well. In first year, I was very focused on the outcome not necessarily the process. But as you said when you see it as part of getting ready for other phases of life and equipping yourself it’s a better perspective.
Rhieme: What advice will you give someone who's struggling to accept the timing of their life?
Lamide: So I think it's important to think about things logically. It’s very easy to just go out and say nothing’s going on for me. But is that true? It's very easy to focus on what you don't have, rather than appreciate what you do have. So why not focus on what you do have and tend those gardens. The deeper the roots the bigger the tree and the better the fruit will be anyway. So it's knowing if you keep on going since your success is inevitable, when it happens, it's going to be so much sweeter, because you know you’ve worked for this. Nobody can try to say you’re a one hit or overnight success. That’s the second advice, actually put in the work. I was reading Outliers and he was talking about the importance of the 10,000 hours. A lot of the big people they've been doing the computer science programming work before they blew, they've been doing it everyday.Improving their skills for at least two or three hours a day. So by the time they blow they’ve put accumulated 10,000 hours of work perfecting that skill. Can you say that about yourself? If you can't then get back to work and put in the work.On social media it is always so easy for people to look as if they're doing stuff, when in reality, they're doing nothing. So don't focus on days, actually put in the work yourself and know that when it’s your time it will come.
God willing, you have a long life so why would you want everything to happen now? We’re like at the first quarter of your life anyways, if everything was to happen now, then then what will you be doing for the rest of your life? Everything happens in seasons, so enjoy each season, because you don't want to be that person who in your 60s your greatest achievements were when you were 18. You're meant to be constantly improving each time. Pace yourself, because God willing you will have a long ride. Secondly, will you ever get this time back? When you're in university, enjoy it.Hmm because when I got taxed. So enjoy it use your age as a selling point, as an advantage. People are willing to help you so much more, when you're 18, 19 20, 21 than when you're 28. They should expect you to do these things by now. So I think don't miss manage this period that you have because it's very important to lay the foundation. I always say you don’t want to harvest when you’re meant to be sowing so make sure you’re walking in the right season and do with all you can whilst you can. Especially not you’re young and you have energy. Who’s going to be trying to build everything when they’re 60? And just have fun with it, you don’t want to get to the top and you’re just underwhelmed because you haven’t managed to have fun and enjoy the process.
Rhieme: The overall theme of what you said is actually staying present and trusting the process. Especially with social media, everyone's always announcing something.It’s not about the quantity but rather the quality.Most people are always wondering whose doing x or y but it’s more of focus on your life, focus on your season and try to do the best you can. Even what you said about the sowing and harvest seasons.I think it's the sowing that's always so hard.Some people sow but they don’t sow properly. So maybe you're trying to get a job or something and you're too focused on that and not even thinking about yourself as a person, how you're treating other people around you. I feel like character development has become very underrated. So there’s so much focus on your LinkedIn or how your CV looks. One thing I always ask myself is in all that you're doing, who are you becoming? Because God actually cares more about the type of person you're becoming than what you do. Also how we treat every season, there’s always so much focus on ‘what’s next’ and we sometimes end up pulling out ourselves from seasons prematurely when we’re still meant to be growing. I mean, you're always growing, but there's a certain level of growth you need in a certain season before you move to the next one. So it's just so key because most people aren't present and even if they are, they don't cherish it.
Lamide: I think in terms of actual practical tips and advice as well, because the idea of being present is so important yet so hard. Firstly, people need to journal more because that way, when you go back, you realise just how far you've come. If I write in my journal ‘God what is this, I'm struggling ?’ then I look back and I’m like wow look at where God is taking me. If it should happen again you know you've through this before. You also just need to practice gratitude and celebrate, live a life of celebration. So a way to do that is at the end of the each day, say two or three things you're grateful for and that way you're just able to write, even though it's hard, you're grateful that you have a good family or home or something to eat. So I think it's just really important to tactually take stock, rather than just always wanting to do something next.The other thing is make sure you're having fun, especially now that you're young, because it's so easy to be doing all these things. Again, you don't want to get to the point and you’re like so what was this all for? Because your life has just passed you by and you never managed to have fun.
Rhieme: So good. Do you have any last words, life advice or anything you'd want to round up with?
Lamide: I will say think about it logically, don't say I'm failing, like are you really?,If I was to have a conversation with you I would probably find five things that you do well.So do that assessment on yourself. What are the five things you're doing well? That way it can counteract all the negative thoughts you're feeling. Nobody knows what they're doing anyways.A lot of the things I'm doing is just vibes and God. So just make sure you’re being obedient and listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit. You can't go wrong when the Holy Spirit is leading you.Make sure in all things you are kind, even if you’re not Christian because a lot of these people are doing these things but they’re not kind.
How did you find this conversation? I'll love to hear your thoughts, share them in the comments and make sure you check out Lamide's channel.Click here to watch a video and stay tuned for next week's conversation!
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