A lot of the time, we're constantly on the go and find it hard to pause, be still and extend grace to ourselves. This is something I'm personally trying to work on. It's so important we are faithful to the process knowing the outcome is already sorted. The Author of our story will never mislead us. This week I'm joined by my guest who has played such a significant role in my journey and has supported me at some of my most crucial points.
Toluwaleke Subair is an Accounting professional. She holds a BA in Business Management from the University of Exeter, a Masters in Accounting and Finance from BPP University and is currently in the last phase of her ACCA Chartered Accountancy Qualification.She loves working with people and solving problems.
Leke’s passion for supporting people stems from her own struggles. “I know what it feels like to feel adrift in this world, and so it is important for me to continuously help people prioritise their actions and achieve their goals. My mission in life is to equip and empower, through knowledge garnered by shared experiences, relevant resources and guidance in various capacities, to make the journey that much easier for the next person.”In 2020, she founded My School Sister, a tailored support system and resource pool for students transitioning to higher education.
Leke also serves as the Community Manager for Femme Africa, Managing the network and online community that enables African women in music and media to access educational initiatives, mentoring and recruitment opportunities. She is also one of their representatives on Spotify’s EQUAL board, in the commitment to fostering equity for women creators globally.
Other passions include reading, hosting her friends around her dinner table and a total obsession with tennis, both playing and watching. She is also in charge of communication and admin at ‘ACAW- A conversation about womanhood,’ a community of women who gather frequently around the idea that vulnerability is power; tackling topics that affect modern women in a safe space.
Our conversation was so comforting and uplifting and serves as source of encouragement to anyone dealing with fear of the future, it's okay to breathe and be still. I hope this conversation supports you in trusting the process and timing of your life.
Rhieme: Hi Leke, thank you so much for joining us today. Can you please tell us about yourself?
Leke: Hi Rhieme, thank you for convincing me to do this. My name is Toluwaleke but everyone pretty much calls me Leke. I’m an accountant by profession. So I have my first degree in Business Management, my masters in Accounting and Finance and I am currently in the last phase of the ACC, which stands for the Association of Chartered certified accountants. In my day to day, I manage the online community at Femme Africa where the overall goal is to amplify women in music and media. We do this through various initiatives. I also run My School Sister where I help students transition to higher education by being a second pair of eyes and ears for them on their journey on the 360 journeys from selecting schools and then getting to the application and any other help they need in between. I guess all around I'm very passionate about people, I really want everybody to be happy. Like I said earlier, I knew the struggles of like feeling adrift in transitional stages, especially where you just don't know what you're doing. I think it's very important for me every time I reach a milestone or find out a new piece of information I look back and provide the stepping stones for the next person so they can like prioritise their actions and reach their goals. I think we generally underestimate the power of shared experiences and making the journey easier for the next person, I think even what you're doing with Uncovered Conversations is quite brilliant because I always wants to know about people’s journeys and how they got to where they are. I'm obsessed with tennis I follow the Grand Slams all year round and I also play tennis. I love reading and my favourite genre is biographies. Like I said about shared experiences earlier, I'm just obsessed with people's stories and it's actually a biblical principle, the Bible says, we're saved by the words of our testimonies. My spirituality is a big part of who I am as well I love Jesus wholeheartedly and aspire to continually emulate his faith, his perseverance, his generosity, and wisdom on my journey here on earth.
Rhieme: Thank you so much for sharing. We've been talking a lot about everyone's journey, and pursuing vision, but a lot of people feel under pressure because they compare themselves to the next person. What does trusting the process mean to you?
Leke: For me, trusting the process means a few things. It means knowing and it means being and I'll explain this as I carry on. It's interesting you asked me this, because I've just come out of a dark season where I feel I veered off and stopped believing in all that I knew and truly believe in and instead I allowed myself to be overcome by negative thoughts. But after a few weeks of allowing myself to wallow in self-pity, I realised I had been running life on vibes, and that doesn't really work. So I returned to the source. I guess once I began to pray again, that was an immediate restoration of peace and faith and a belief in myself, which is very important. I guess trusting the process means learning to trust yourself. I would say I'm learning to trust myself to deliver my purpose. Learning to trust my gut because I know that my gut is truly the Holy Spirit in me. On a practical level, it means allowing yourself go through the motions, but choosing not to follow them. Being introspective, tendering my soul, just unplugging, breathing, stepping away, and being. It's so important to be present and not get stuck on continuously thinking about what might be and what might not be. So many things prevent us from being present doubts, fear and even within yourself feeling inadequate, anxiety, failure, but actually the more hyper focused we are on those things, and trying not to make mistakes the longer we actually delay our process. I can't remember who it was I think it was Mike Todd who said the opportunity of a lifetime can only be realised in the lifetime of that opportunity. So as much as by God's grace we're not running out of time we have to learn to show up, just do and be present. One of my favourite Bible verses is Romans 8:14 and it says in the message translation God's spirit beckons, there are things to do and places to go and it tells us to wake up expectant. Come to God expectant and ask him what’s next Papa? So our spirits align with His and we know who we are in him. So we can’t simply afford to live passive lives. In Esther 4:14 it also says we're born for such a time. In summary, trusting the process means getting the chatter out of your head and seeking clarity so you learn to trust yourself more, you seek out your purpose all of this alongside God of course. You just have to be self -aware, envision your purpose and work tirelessly towards the evolution of that person.
Rhieme: I really like what you said about how you have to get rid of the noise in your head and have clarity because most of the time you may know what you're doing and have some sort of clarity and then all of a sudden when you start working towards it negative voices start coming in.That's something I deal with a lot, my mind and everything, Every time I get those negative voices I'm like is this God or not? If it’s not God, then there's no point thinking about it.Thank you so much for sharing because sometimes we don't talk about things like this that prevents us from even getting there in the first place.
Leke: Like I said, it’s about making sure you're not hyper focused on the wrong things. Rather than focusing on your fears, your anxieties, you can shift your focus to daily actions, where is it that I want to go? And how do I get there?
Rhieme: Yeah, because you always have a choice. If you can think negatively, you can think positively. It's not even toxic positivity.As you mentioned you spent time going through how you felt, you didn't force yourself to move on.
Leke: Yeah, just make sure you're being honest with yourself, you can try to deceive everyone, but don't try and deceive yourself because that is just a path to destruction.
Rhieme: Definitely, thank you for sharing. Do you find it difficult to trust the timing of your life? And how are you able to trust even in the unknown?
Leke: Absolutely. I find it difficult to trust the timing of my life. I feel like every day of my life is usually a battle between oh my gosh, time is going everyone is just doing this I need to keep it moving. And the other side of this is, God causes all things to work together for my good. Even in the decisions I have three degrees, but a lot of my mates have work experience and stuff. So sometimes I'm like why am I still in school? Why am I still studying? Then other times it's like, okay, these degrees I'm doing actually it takes people 10 years to achieve it whilst they're working. Whereas I've done it in this time, I'm only 23. One super profound thing, which one of my favourite people told me recently, her name is Simi she said when the wind of favour gus, you gain ground. So essentially, it might seem like some people are running, but actually when the wind favour comes and pushes you, you might even get ahead of them. So I guess my prayer really is to trust in God's plans for my life whilst continuously doing my part in the day to day, which looks like building my faith, ploughing. Even on a more practical level, applying for jobs, all the things I know I should be doing in the present, whilst waiting diligently. I guess the other side of it, like you said, if we can think negatively, we can think positively. On a practical level, I have three degrees, I know I'm smart, I have so many skills, I have work experience, I'm compassionate, I'm empathetic, I have a willingness to learn, I am genuinely a great person.When it comes to biology, I have a stellar lineage. I come from a family of great people who have done many firsts. So honestly, why would I not be great? There’s honestly no reason. Like I said earlier, I believe I was put on earth for such a time as this and so I'm teaching myself to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, and not from a scarcity mindset. So just knowing that I am more than enough and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I am who God says I am. It's those things that I've said I'm holding unto God's promises, as well as looking at myself practically. The odds are stacked in my favour, quite literally.
Rhieme: Thank you so much for sharing and I love what you said on when it’s your time, it’s your time. Just because things aren't moving quickly or you don’t have an announcement to make doesn’t mean you’re behind. I remember last year I felt so stagnant, and asking God too many times can I please have a better understanding of myself? Like why am I here? I remember I wasn't doing anything per say but I was still moving forward. There was a point in time where I wasn't really talking to anyone and it wasn't because I was isolating myself, I just felt like I was too, caught up with people that I didn't even know myself. So when those things were happening, and I'll be telling God, I want something good to happen and He would say this is part of it. You don't have to own a business or have this job to feel like things are moving. But what you said about when it's your time, it's your time, because this year, the pace at which things have happened that I've seen personally with me doesn't even make sense. Like, every day, I'm just saying, how did I get here? Even things like interviewing people, last year I couldn't I was so shy. Just as you said remembering God has a plan that's the starting point. We're so used to feeling like, if you don't have something you're doing, or you don't have something big, then you're wasting your time, but we don't think about how those people who have announced something went through that period of quietness. You’re not always going to have something to say sometimes you have an announcement, sometimes you have something new you're doing. Sometimes you're just being still and that's fine. That's still walking in alignment. One thing I've seen not only with me, but other people is God works with speed, it doesn't take Him time. I think most of the time, He's just trying to prepare us for the increase so we can actually handle it when it comes. I think it's Ephesians, or something that talks about being created for God's workmanship and walking in things that were already ordained.
Leke: Like you said when you’re called, you’re called. It's so easy to let yourself be pressured and just wants to do things. Whereas some people are actually just called. I personally believe I'm called to support people. This is not necessarily entrepreneurship, but I actually want to work in the corporate world. I know everyone is shying away from 9-5s and things like that but you can actually be great in the corporate world, as well. And so yeah, it's just trusting in your process, knowing yourself and being true to yourself.
Rhieme: Just to add to what you said about the corporate world, that's me as well. At first I thought I wouldn’t have much impact but God has just explained that wherever I place you, you will make an impact. Impact is not necessarily about your face showing or someone knowing that this person is doing x. I guess that's where living for an audience of One comes in. At the end of the day, you're not necessarily doing it for people you're doing it for God because that's where He wants you to be.
Leke: It's so easy to see yourself at the forefront. I remember for example, when I was doing A levels and this woman came to speak to us, and she had a multimillion-dollar company, and she's not even a known person. Her company makes the adhesive on the tape you use to secure Pampers essentially and you never think about that. It just got me thinking, how did she ever think about this? And number two, you think about the finished products, right you don't think about the parts that go into the finished product and that requires people too.Usually even being at the forefront is not always as glamorous as it feels so even what you were saying about making impact, if you look at the President of the country, the President's job feels it's the most glamorous, but a lot of the time, they themselves don't have the capacity to sit down and write policies and things like that, because they have to make appearances. If for example, you're passionate about impacting people, but you don't like being at the forefront, there are so many other back-office roles.I guess people often look down on that but that's where the real impact is actually being made. So I think it's important to not get caught up in being at the forefront and to trust wherever you are is enough as long as you're being true to yourself and putting your absolute best, you will make you will make impact.
Rhieme: Yeah and I even wanted to add being at the forefront is not for everyone, I feel like everyone has their own unique skill sets. Starting a business is not for everyone. If you're not starting one, it doesn't you're not doing anything significant cause someone can have a mass audience but they're not impacting anyone. You can be at the forefront and not know how to navigate the forefront in such a way that you're helping people. You played such a massive role in my whole application process, like you flipped my personal statement, quite literally and you were part of the process of me getting into almost all of my universities and that's impact because now I'm where I'm supposed to be in terms of uni and it's opened more doors. So it's just in the little things and everyone didn't know about this before, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t doing anything meaningful.
Rhieme: A lot of people are at that phase where they're trying to decide what to do next. How have you been able to navigate breaking into your career journey?
Leke: In all honesty, I'm just as confused as the next person. What I will say though is I'm currently giving myself the grace to explore. When you're thinking from that scarcity mindset of I'm running out of time, I have to be doing this, we often don't give ourselves grace to explore and just do different things to try and figure things out. So at the moment, I'm reading, researching, speaking to loads of people, listening to various perspectives on journeys, applying for various roles, and more importantly I trust that what is mine will be mine. I have a whole folder of rejection emails and I created a tag on Gmail called obstacles. I'm truly just believing that they are merely obstacles and not the end of where I am. I had to teach myself to reframe my mindset. Every time I have a new rejection, I just drag it into my phone. I'm like this is just another obstacle but I will get there, it's redirecting me to where I ultimately will be and what is mine will be mine. Honestly, it's not an easy journey at all. My prayer every day is that I will be the right girl at the right place at the right time doing the right thing. This was a prayer point I heard at Colour Conference many years ago. Another daily prayer I've added to the rest every Sunday is that God will open my eyes to see the treasures around me and help me fan the flames. The gifts which He has imparted in me, essentially, none of them will go to waste.Sometimes it can feel like everything is giving way and everything is betraying you literally including the world you wake up you put on the news but there are also people making it right. Oprah Winfrey is a human being Elon Musk is a human being so just give yourself time to feel the feels.Give yourself the grace to go again. Although you might feel stuck, there's always a way out.
Rhieme: Yeah I just want to touch on that as well. I was actually talking to my friend yesterday, and we we're saying how do people think you just wake up one day and you just just know? I've learned that you don't just wake up and you know even with your career there's so much exploring to do and I think it all starts with you as a person. Having time for yourself, outside of what people have made me think I like or outside of what I've conditioned myself to like out of fear. As you said, taking time out to time to research and being still because there's no rush at the end of the day. Sometimes people rush into a career path from a place of fear and imagine climbing up a ladder and you realise it was never meant for you. I think it makes more sense to take out more time, rest and be still. I remember I interviewed someone this was someone who had internships from Goldman Sachs and different places, but she didn't end up getting a job when she was graduating. She told me about how at that point in time, she went back home and focused on her writing and she was focused on herself and eventually everything was sorted and now she's fine. But what she really emphasised to me was just taking time out to gain clarity because there's literally no point rushing to build something because you think pausing is a waste of time because it's not.The Bible verse that keeps coming to mind is unless the Lord builds a house the builder builds in vain. I really held on to it because it's like every single venture if God isn't behind it or if He hasn't given you that sense of clarity and vision it’s really not worth it.
Leke: Bringing it back to one of my favourite tennis players, Ashleigh Barty I was reading her story and she used to play tennis when she was younger, and she wasn't really gaining ground. Then she started playing cricket for Australia and she was doing really well in her cricket career, gaining getting awards, all of that. But something in her just always wanted to go back to tennis so she went back to tennis now she's on the top five, worldwide and all of that. Again, it's what I said about giving yourself grace to explore.
Rhieme: Yeah, and also not feeling bad for switching gears. Sometimes, you may have thought things will go a certain way and they don't. Then you find yourself with a new interest. Sometimes you may feel bad like, am I just doing this to make myself feel better? But actually, it's just another side of yourself that you probably never explored. I mean, that's how I feel every day with this whole thing of finance. I literally closed my mind anything in relation to that but now actually I really like this and I wouldn't have known if I didn't at least take out time. Also seeing rejections as a redirection because I firmly believe that what is for you will not miss you as long as you are aligned. Just never taking them personally but seeing it as the more doors are closing, the more streamlined things are becoming. I think open doors can also be a distraction they can also be the wrong turn. Sometimes you think when everything's opening up for you, then it's a good sign but actually, sometimes it could be that you're not focused enough, or you're going for too many things at the same time.
Leke: Life is not linear and we go through life in various phases and stages. Sometimes we think when a phase has come to an end or a season has come to an end it means we failed. But actually no, it’s building us up. Things only make sense in hindsight so you can look back and say, this is why I had to do this and this is why I have to go through this season. But in that moment, it seems we're in the fire. So yeah, just trusting the seasons of our life and not always deeming an ending to failure. My friend Subomi is always reminding me that just because something has come to an end, it doesn't mean you failed.
Rhieme: I really like what you said about how the ending of things don't amount to failure. Sometimes we seem to forget that things happen in seasons. You may have a project now you've been doing for maybe three years, and now it's time for things to close. The world is used to not being honest about pauses. So everyone just thinks that there has to be continuity in everything. Whilst there is in some things, it’s not for everything. I always hold on to this phrase there is grace for the place. So the grace you had at a particular point it may not be there anymore because that that period of time is over.
Leke: Even things open doors for other things. So for example My School Sister, people are constantly asking me about it. First of all, there is life beyond social media let me put this out. Just because one isn't posting on social media doesn't mean it's not happening. I found that I'm not passionate about marketing or creating content all of that is draining to me. Whereas I love doing the actual work so I'm still working with a lot of students behind the scenes but just because I'm not posting actively on social media doesn't mean it's not happening. Also setting that up if I didn't I wouldn't have my role at Femme for example, which has opened me up to a network of opportunities. It's because those transferable skills you gain from experiences lead you unto the next one. Number one, there is life beyond social media, number two phases are actually steppingstones for the next. Longevity does not equal to success; it can actually be a steppingstone for the next phase. Life is not linear.
Rhieme: Thank you for adding that because I think most more people need to actually have a life outside of social media. If not you would end up tailoring your life to show people things. I feel like there are some things that are not meant to be publicised and I know someone who has a business and she was running it for a year without saying anything about it on social media and she was still gaining clients. Also not thinking how someone else has done something has to be the blueprints because you may end up not even attracting the right people because you’re not being true to yourself.
Rhieme: How do you handle the pressure of ‘having everything figured out? ‘
Leke: Like I said, I do not have everything figured out.I think comparison is the thief of joy. You have to focus on yourself and trust in your journey and honestly you just realise that everybody in life is winging it. I think having had conversations with some of the people that I admire and listening to some of the greats on podcasts and interviews, all these things you just realise that no one is as calculative as you think. People have a vision for their life but no one is perfect, and no one is as comprehensive as you think. But one thing is they're gracious towards themselves. They trust their gut instinct and they do their part and trust that their discipline will pay off. So I guess it's all boils down to what I was saying about being present and just doing your part and trusting that God will lead you to where you need to be so you just do your part be disciplined. Trust in your journey, explore.From a spiritual perspective knowing God and from knowing who you are in Him, you have things to cling on to. I don't have everything figured out but what I do know is who I am in Christ, I know I have a crown on my head and I know I am destined for greatness.
Rhieme: Yeah, thank you so much for sharing as you said it's trusting the process and trusting what God is saying to you. Having confidence and taking those steps towards that. It's so key because there's this pressure of having it all figured out and I always say I don't know what 10 years or even 5 years look like but what I do know now I’m giving it my best. I think also just giving space for God's will ultimately and following the blueprint He has set for you. I interviewed someone and she was just telling me about how when COVID hit last year she was in very different season where she wasn't necessarily doing anything and it really stuck with me because there’s this pressure to start something but it's realising your own journey will never be the same as the next person.
Rhieme: What advice would you give someone who's not sure what step to take next, and is dealing with the fear of the future?
Leke: I will say plough diligently and give God time to take your seeds and effort and in due season you'll get your reward. There's also a Bible verse that says do not grow weary in doing good for the right time it will all work out. Give God time to flip your seeds and efforts to breathe grace and favour on it and in due time you will get your reward. And that as much as I'm saying this to people, I'm also reminding myself as well. Do not be hyper focused on the wrong things. Trust yourself, and you'll be fine. Believing your own sauce ultimately.
Rhieme: Do you have any advice? Anything that's been on your mind? Any last words?
Leke: I guess everything I said in in response to your last question will just be the summary of everything I've said today. I also I recognise that it's hard. Trust me. I know it's hard. But like I said, share my experiences because I've been through the struggles. Ultimately believe the energy you channel into negative thinking imagine if you channel that into positive thinking? Be graceful towards yourself, be empathetic towards yourself in the same way you try to understand other people.
How did you find our conversation? What were your key-takeaways? Share below in the comments and make sure you check out My School Sister!
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