With life moving at such a fast pace sometimes, it's easy for us to loose ourselves, our values and constantly compromise and fit into a mould we were never meant to. This week's conversation is centred around the importance of standing firm in who we are as people irrespective of the industries and spaces we find ourselves in.
I'm joined by my guest Ijeoma Adesanya who has lived this in practice. She is the founder and principal consultant of Kobikam Africa, a gender advisory and advocacy consultancy with a vision to promote gender advancement in Africa. She is passionate about encouraging and equipping women with the tools for success on a business, professional and regulatory level.
She started her career in General Electric, where she covered over 11 countries across Sub-Saharan Africa focused on Financial Planning, Strategy and Commercial Finance. Her work experience cuts across various sectors including Power Infrastructure, Oil & Gas and Healthcare. She is passionate about advocating for policies that impact women.
Our conversation was so amazing. We spoke about a range of topics from taking a leap of faith to pursuing your unique path irrespective of people's expectations. To anyone who has been under pressure recently regarding the next move, this is your reminder it's okay to be still and be. Our lives are in safe hands, we only need to be still and receive.
Rhieme: Hi Ijeoma, thank you so much for joining us today. Can you please tell us about yourself?
Ijeoma: Hello, my name Ijeoma Adesanya.I’ll start with how I see myself. I'm a mum of two, I’m married to my husband who's called Tolu.I used to work in finance and then now I’m a gender consultant. I'm also a child of God, a Christian, a disciple, witness of the Most High God.
Rhieme: Thank you for sharing, what does taking a leap of faith mean to you?
Ijeoma: When I think about taking a leap of faith, I think about something that happened to me, I believe it was in 2011. I had just finished my NYSC with a company.I was trying to see if the company will retain me or if I should move on to something else. It was during one of those financial downturns and the economy was really bad, things weren't really working out, people didn't really have jobs. So it was a very trying time. I remember the company offering me a salary that was the same as what I had been receiving as an NYSC person and I remember just praying about it. The reason why I emphasise the financial downturn is because everyone was looking for jobs and this was me turning down a job opportunity and I prayed about it. Obviously when I decided that everyone thought I was crazy and so for me, that was taking a leap of faith because I didn't know what was next I didn't know where I was going to end up. I just made up my mind that it would have been a good thing to stay, but it wasn't a God thing. One thing about taking a leap of faith is that assurance, and hope that even though you can't see and you don't know where you're going to end up, you just have hope that God has good plans for you. It was so interesting, because when I came out of that, I ended up getting an interview for GE where I worked for eight years. He flew me to Kenya, treated me like a princess and I was trying to hold on to something that was going to pay me 50k a month. had the interview process in Kenya for a couple of days and I got the job. Funnily enough the investment bank I was working for in for NYSC they called me back and said do you want to come back we'll even increase your salary. It wasn't much you know, by then God had already came through for me. I think taking a leap of faith opened up the door for the next level. But if I was still in the company, it just might not have been the same you, I might have just been stopped there because I remember even for the GE interviews I had to I was going to the library every day to prep and get ready for the interview. If I was still in in the other job, there's no way I would have been doing They flew about 10 Nigerians to Kenya but only choose two. So it was very intense and it was very tough.
Rhieme: Wow, thank you so much for sharing. There are a few things you shared I really picked up on. Firstly, what you said about something being a good thing but not a God thing and how taking take a leap of faith gave room for you to enter the next level. That was so brave, especially at a time when people were looking for jobs. It's so important to always take a step back and ask is this job aligned with where God wants to take you? Or am I just doing it out of fear? Also what you said about that leap of faith leading to the next level, from what I've seen in my life and through speaking to other people, a lot of the time when God wants you to elevate, there's always a new level of faith that is required. I remember last year, when I was waiting for my visa to go back to school, and God had given me a specific date and had said you’re going to travel on this day and I held unto it. That day came and I still didn’t have my visa and I was just like what’s going on? I remember he had told me, I needed to go to the visa office and just tell them, I’m here to collect my visa.Usually there's this app that notifies you when it’s time to collect it, so you can’t just walk in. But what God said to me was new beginnings require new faith. So it really ties in with what you shared, knowing that to enter the next level, you need a certain level of faith.Also not compromising because circumstances say otherwise.
Ijeoma: When you talk about compromising, think about knowing who you are, knowing who you are in God, let your confidence be in who you are in God, not in yourself, not in your abilities, but the fact that you're a child of God. If you're a child of God, if you feel led to do something, then God is directing you to a better place.It might not come immediately, I mean, mine didn't take long, it was just a few months and I started in the new role It doesn't matter how long it takes, just believing and hoping and just holding on to faith that what God has already started, he will complete. But a lot of the time, it's just getting to that point where you actually believe in yourself. You know who you are, you know, who's you are, when that changes, everything changes.
Rhieme: Yes thank you so much for sharing, especially what you said about believing in yourself as a child of God and not gaining confidence from your abilities, or what you do. But as you said whose you are. It’s so important because sometimes we gain confidence from awards, recognition or certificates and all but all of those things are quite fleeting.
Rhieme: At one of the Anavah sessions, you shared how you moved from working at one of the best multinational companies to working for yourself. How did you know it was time for change?
Ijeoma: So I try to have a review of my life at the end of every year for the next year. To be honest, for the longest time, I think for about three years in in the company I was very restless. You know when you're restless and you have this dissatisfaction in you, and I knew it wasn't something where I could just be led by my feelings. It's one thing to have dissatisfaction, but it’s another thing to find out what is the trigger? What is causing this discomfort, dissatisfaction, or restlessness? For the first five years I was in the company I was happy, I felt like I was doing well. But I remember before I had joined the company, God had told me to be there for five years. There’s a saying, the blessings that come with where you have a timeline. If God has told you to move and you haven’t moved, those blessings have moved. After those five years, I felt like the blessing had moved, and I was there, but it just felt like I was toiling, even when I would work hard, and spend hours, it didn't amount to much. In December 2019, when I was praying about 2020, I really took out time to ask God, what do you want me to do? It's very interesting, because by then there wasn't even COVID or anything, I didn't even know how 2020 was going to pan out. I was just asking God, what would you have me do? Then I heard a date,1st of September, hand in your letter. In summer 2020, I now wrote the letter I was going to hand off. So, September I was thinking between January to September, I'll get another job, some big opportunity will come up, something will happen. So, it would just be easy to hand in my letter. But none of that happened. Sometimes God requires your absolute obedience and when I say absolute obedience, there are no conditions attached to your obedience. My own thinking was I would have gotten something that would help me financially for me to leave my job, because it was a well-paying job and everybody I meet everywhere, they're like, you work in this company? I would have loved to work there. When I got the dates, I wrote the letter and things happened in between, and God started speaking to me about women and public policy. In April while I was still on the job, I took a course in LSE in public policy analysis and I learned a lot. That started to open my mind to what kind of policies would I want to effect? What kind of policies will I want to amend? What kind of policy will I want to introduce? I realised everything I was interested in had to do with women, and children. So that's how I started to do my research about gender and stuff like that. One day, I remember I was in the shower and God spoke to me about gender advisory. I was like, what is that? I started researching, and he told me exactly who to speak to.How did I know it was time to change? There was just the stirring in my spirits that there was something more. I also know I've always wanted to live very flexibly. I want to be able to drop my children off in school, I want to be able to do certain things. For me success in life is not just based on a career it’s also based on my family, my husband, my children, how am I taking care of them?
God does give his children rest. Those are the things I knew I wanted, and I knew where I was at the time wasn't fulfilling those needs for me. I had the data and when it was time, I remember on the 1st of September, when I was supposed to submit the letter, I was crying, because I'm just like girl, what are you doing? I just followed the leading of the Holy Spirit and that's how I was able to make that change.
Rhieme: Wow, thank you for sharing. You first of spoke about how you got a word from God. So that was almost the starting point you began to feel uncomfortable. There's a phrase that keeps coming to mind, God giving you the grace for a place, and he was very specific at the start of your job, how long he wanted you to spend there. As you mentioned He gave you all the energy and everything you needed for that period then you began to feel very uncomfortable. So, you responded to feeling uncomfortable. As you said, God was very specific on when you should leave. It shows when you always take things back to God, no matter how small the feeling is, He cares, and He will clarify at all points in time. Even what you mentioned about knowing the type of life you wanted for yourself and being flexible and being able to stand on that and not compromise. It's shows how having a surrendered life to God is constant, it’s not a one stop thing. When God has given us a specific time for things, it’s important to be responsive. These days it’s harder especially if you work somewhere that is really good and they're paying well, it is easier for you to forget about the other things God has said. But it's more of is it a good thing or God thing?If it's just a good thing and God's will is not involved, you're not in alignment with Him.
Rhieme: Have you always been confident in walking in the unknown? How have you developed confidence over time?
Ijeoma: I'll say no. In fact, even right now, I don't know that I'm comfortable. What I do know is I am obedient. Whether I feel comfortable about it or not, I'm going to do what God has told me to do. Especially if I hear clearly and I'm very sure this is what the Lord is saying. In terms of confidence, it's a muscle you build every time. So, the same way when you go to the gym to show you're progressing in whatever it is, if you're running or whatever, after you do five minutes for a week or something by the next week, you should be able to do 10 minutes and after that 15 minutes, then 20 minutes. But if you're only doing five minutes, you're not losing any weight because your body has adjusted to those five minutes. I think that's the same with walking into the unknown, the more you do it, God will give you situations where you have to trust because that's how your faith has been built up. How can you be obedient if you don't trust? How can you be obedient to something or someone that you don't know? That's where you know the Word of God comes in.If you don't know God, it’s hard for you to trust, because for you to walk out into the unknown, there has to be some level of trust.
But if you don't know the word of God you can't hold on to certain words concerning you and promises that have been given concerning you, it will be hard for you to step out, because you don't even know what God has spoken over your life. Whatever it is, if God has called you out, he has prepared a table for you. God is always a trillion steps ahead, he sees the future we don't. So if he sees the future, and I'm his daughter, and I trust him, then I'll just let him take the lead. That’s where intimacy comes in as well. I think intimacy is under emphasised. Intimacy with God is so important to your journey and your walk with God because that is the only way you can hear the secret things in the sacred place. A lot of the things we go to our friends to ask what do you think about this? If you just went to God and asked him, he will tell you, and it will be clear. When you're walking out into the unknown, we already know, even though it seems like a future date. For me, I felt like there's a lot of things God has said to me and spoken over me. I haven't seen them now, but my confidence is there. I can easily walk into the unknown because I know that he's the one calling me there. If I give my job as an example, if I didn't hear from God, it would have been impossible to do it. If it was because I was talking to this person and this person advised me to do it, I will come out and when times are hard, I would resent that person. Or be thinking did I do the right thing? So when I step out into the unknown it is because I've heard clearly and I can have total confidence and trust in God but that trust has been built in a place of intimacy and a place of continually saying yes, even when it didn't make sense.
Rhieme: Thank you for that. What you said especially about the unknown, you're not really sure what's next but it's not the unknown in the sense that God will definitely give you a word. What you said about hearing from him directly is so important because when people give us words, it should only serve as confirmation. So maybe God may not have told you what that person has said but he will always say it to you too.It’s more important to move based on the word he's giving you, as opposed to different people speaking over you or throwing ideas at you. As you said, the more you keep on saying yes to him, the intimacy goes deeper, you trust Him more. Also the importance of knowing God, you can’t trust who you don’t know. A lot of people my age are very worried, a lot of them feel behind and say things like, they're not doing anything, what is the next step? I always say focusing on knowing God first, being familiar with his voice and how he speaks to you. Then everything else, what you should do, or what is next will come but he cares more about your relationship with Him. He cares more about who you're becoming in Him.
Rhieme: What advice would you give someone who's just starting their career journey and is currently walking in fear due to uncertainty?
Ijeoma: I would even ask them why they're walking in fear. Do you mean maybe because they haven't started their career, and they don't know which direction to go? One thing I'd say is, obviously, fear is not of God. The Bible, so many times talks about being courageous and strong, not being afraid of anything that may come your way. The first step would be checking where that fear is coming from. One thing I've noticed is society has made us believe if you're not a lawyer or a doctor or all these professions you are not succeeding. A lot of us have had degrees and all in stuff that isn't even the core of who we are. For example, I studied accounting, because my dad was a banker. Don't even ask me how banking and accounting have anything in common, but I wasn't clear on who I was. I mean, there was one thing that I did know, I loved fashion.
There's a step in my journey that I haven't really shared so much and it's the fact that when I left the investment bank after NYSC, I actually set up a room at the back of my house and I started sewing, and I would just sew for people. I remember sitting in that room and one day, I said to God I really want to travel, I feel like this room is too small. I remember after that was when I got GE like I was already sewing and doing all of that stuff. The interview was in Kenya, I had never been to Kenya before. So this is me saying I want to travel and see the world and then after six months in Lagos, I moved to South Africa for six months. I lived in South Africa for six months after South Africa, I lived in Paris for six months after that. So what I'm saying is in between all of that, there was a lot of travel. I remember even in GE at some point I went to the US and the whole of Universal Studios in Florida was shut down for just a few GE employees. A lot of times, you just need to ask but I’ll say check where your check where the fear is coming from. A lot of times we're fearful because we've started on a path that doesn't really tie to who we are. We've done that because society has told us these are the carriers or even in the university and we've picked one of them and gotten confused along the way. But it's okay, actually, to take a step back even if you've gone on a path for 10 years.One thing I'll say is you have to be you to succeed. There's no separation between who you are. Some people actually separate who they are from the work they do and that's okay if that’s what God has called you to do at a certain point in time. But after a while, you will find this tug of war in your spirits were contending between being yourself and staying in the job you can’t really be you. One thing I've realised is that I honestly truly want to live freely. I want to live my life, enjoy it and look back and say yes I was in some way in control of my life with the leading of the Holy Spirit. It wasn't anybody else. It wasn't my parents. It wasn't my in laws, it wasn't society, it wasn't friends. I was making up my own mind. According to the leading of the Holy Spirit, I want to be the best version of me and I don't want any dichotomy in my life.
At the end of the day, God is the potter and we are the clay and He's the one making us. Without him, we can't know what it is we're meant to do. When he does tell you what you're meant to do, no matter how insignificant it sounds, or how small it sounds, just do diligently. First of all, just ask God, what you have you do. Once on Instagram, I said is it good to get to the top of the mountain and realise you’re on the wrong one? Sometimes we're just camping, climbing and climbing. What if you spend all your years climbing and climbing you're progressing at your job, you're just going and at some point in your life, you realise this isn't particularly what you’re meant to be doing? So when you're feeling uncertain, it's actually not a bad thing. It's a good time to stop and start asking the right questions. Ask the Holy Spirit, the right questions and start to see a change in the trajectory and the direction that you go.
Rhieme: Wow, I feel like I can listen to you for hours. Thank you so much, especially what you said about knowing yourself as a person and how sometimes we go on these different paths or a different path from who we are as people so it doesn't flow naturally. As you said, you get to the top and you're wondering, oh, wow, maybe this wasn't for me. It just shows taking out that time to know who God has created you to be and asking him what have you called me to do? Who have you made me to be? I always say God cares more about who you are as a person than what you produce. When you're not doing anything, it doesn't mean you're not walking in who God wants you to be. There are times when God will spend time shedding. That happened to me last year. I wasn't doing anything, God was pulling me out friendships and things I had attached my identity and worth to. Even the career path I thought was for me, over time God has revealed something completely different and told me the reason why I thought I was supposed to be on a certain journey journey is because of the comfort that came with it. Where he's pushed me there's so much learning that has to be done, and I can't do it on my own. So thank you so much for that, because especially for people my age, we're all at that point where there’s this pressure of what next? What are you going to do with your life? People sometimes fall into that trap of just doing anything. For example, becoming a doctor may sound good because it seems like a secure path or you think money will be there, or it may sound good to parents. One thing God has been telling me is living for an audience of One also means you're not living for yourself. This life and everything is not for us, it's for God. So he's the one, as you mentioned, who will tell you what exactly you should do.
Ijeoma: Yeah and as you were speaking there's something else that came to mind. Don't rely on your own skills and talents. A lot of the time, that's what we do, we say I have this qualification, I have this certificate, I have this, I have that. But when you're walking in the unknown, you don't have any of that the only person you can rely on is God. The reason why he does that is because he wants to take all the glory, so you can also see that he is the one directing your life. I heard a testimony recently that blew my mind. So this lady was telling me how she had been off work for two years and she had been trying to apply to an MBA programme. Every time she will apply, something will happen. She kept doing the GMAT exams, and she just kept on not getting the grades she needed. She eventually applied to some schools and the last one she applied to she got into it. She wasn't thinking about it. She got into to one of them and they give her a full scholarship. This is someone who has been out of the job for two years. So I feel like God did all of that just to show her that it is not about your own strength or power, but my own time. She waited for two years but in those two years, he was building her character he was changing because as you said, he's more concerned about our hearts than our occupation or careers. He would rather the inward transformation than the outward him inward transformation.
Rhieme: Thank you for sharing especially what you said about the timing, as well. When it's your time, it's your time, no one can take that away from you. As long as in the waiting period, you're waiting properly. You're still asking God what are those things I need to change that don't mirror your nature or your character? Even what you mentioned on tailoring, you really liked tailoring and but you told God you want to explore more and you didn't take yourself there, you allowed him you. Obviously you took those practical steps with the job but that was based on where he was leading you to. Sometimes we have these desires for ourselves, where we want to go, where we see ourselves. Most of the time people don't take a step back to reassess. As you said, there's nothing wrong with you coming down a ladder you’ve climbed on for so long.
Ijeoma: It's really good to be honest. I remember in that room, when I'll be sewing, I will just be worshipping and praying I was just telling God, this room is actually quite small. I actually want to see the world, I want to travel, I want to meet people and he made that possible.
Rhieme:Thank you so much for sharing. How were you able to remain your authentic self in the corporate field where people see it as limiting sometimes?
Ijeoma: I wouldn’t say I was my authentic self from the jump. I would say that was something I had to develop and God had to build in me. One thing that did help was just knowing who I am. There was a point where we had exams, I was teaching everyone in class but I kind of got big headed. I I remember the morning of the exam, I was reading my Bible and I saw the Scripture about those who God loves, he chastises and I was like no, don't do this to me. You know I went to that exam and I blanked. This is me I was teaching everyone and I completely blanked. God needed me to go through that and I think it was at that point he stripped me of all the attitude I think I had developed. At that point, I started to be more authentic. When I went to Kenya, I started the fellowship and that was because for me, it was just like, God take all the glory. They sent me to France, everything that they would normally not do for someone who didn't pass the exams they were given to me. That was when God humbled me and I started to focus solely on him. Even though it was scary, we'll do it on our lunch break, and hide sometimes. I remember in Kenya, I had an appointment with the Holy Spirit at 8pm. So whatever I was doing at work at 8pm, I had to be back in my, apartment. I’ll just say, Holy Spirit, I'm here and we will talk and I know it sounds funny, but this is what I was doing throughout my time in Kenya. I realised there are different times and seasons in your life that you look back on and you see what God was doing. I think he was just building me up for what was to come. I would say as early on as you as you can, let God lead you. I'm very empathetic so I just always allowed that show. Don't try to be something else to fit into the environment you are in stand your ground. You can be strong, and still be kind. You don't have to be a mean to prove to anybody that you can do the job. You can do it with meekness, love and warmth.
Rhieme: Wow, especially you what you said about how God humbled you. He already saw where things were going and he just said let me just pull her back a bit. Even with that you weren't at a disadvantage, there was still so much grace and favour. It just shows that no matter because you're God's child, things will always be different for you. I really love what you said about how you can be at the top and still be kind to people still. Sometimes we think when we get to a certain level, we have to change the way we relate to people, maybe based on what we can see or the example we've been set. But as we said, you are your authentic self through God. He's the one who would check you and ask, are you doing too much? Or are you not doing too much?
Rhieme: Do you have any last words? Any advice?
Ijeoma: Just enjoy your life. Taking one day at a time.Sometimes we're trying to plan the future, we're looking at the past, we're trying to do everything at the same time. Find your own rhythm with God don’t allow anyone say you must pray for five hours. Find your rhythm with God because every body is different. You don't have to know everything and it's okay sometimes to rest. It's okay to not know what to do and pause. A lot of times when we don't know what to do, and we pause, we see that as failure but that's not failure. That is the opportunity for God to speak to you.I would say live a surrendered life. With one you don’t really care about what people think or say. A surrendered life is more focused on what God would have them do per time per season. Every season require something different Your calling can be something today, and tomorrow it’s something else. Or he wants you to express it in this way today and express it in another way tomorrow. But if we have a mindset, thinking about just one thing we're going to run into trouble, and that's when we start getting afraid or anxious. We’re like God called me to do this how come you're telling me to do this? His ways are not our ways and because we can’t see the full picture, it may not make sense to us. If God has called us to do something, we should just go we should say yes. The life I'm living now as I told you, my hands are just surrendered. Understanding why that particular season is happening to you if it's a difficult season, if you understand why, it makes it more bearable, because whatever it is, it’s building up endurance in you.
How did you find this conversation? Any key-takeaways? Share below in the comments! Make sure you check out KobiKam Africa and see you in the next conversation.