Hi everyone! Welcome to another episode! Today we're joined by the amazing, Lanaire Aderemi who candidly shares her journey on venturing into the creative field. This was such an impactful conversation for me personally and I'm sure it'll meet you where you are.
Lanaire Aderemi is a poet and playwright committed to amplifying and archiving untold stories. She holds a degree in Sociology and an MA in Creative Writing from the University of Warwick. She is the recipient of the 2019 Shoot Festival Artist Development Award and the 2020 Peter Gutkind Prize from the University of Warwick. In 2017, she self-published her poetry anthology ‘of ivory and ink’ which was adapted into a play called an evening with verse writer (Tristan Bates, 2018). Her award-winning play ‘an evening with verse writer’ (Warwick Arts Centre, 2019) was adapted into a film and screened at story story festival. Alongside writing, she has written and directed films which have been screened at change your style and story story festival. Her work has appeared in LOLWE, The Republic, BBC, Tate Modern, Birmingham Rep Theatre, 20.35 Africa anthology and Africa Writes. She is currently a PhD researcher in Literary Practice at the University of Warwick and is the founder of story story pod. An excerpt of her upcoming play, ‘protests, hymns and caskets’ will be shown in the Belgrade Theatre on the 28th and 29th of April.
She's set an example of owning your journey just as you are and we hope this encourages you to do the same!
Rhieme: Hi, Lanaire, thank you so much for joining us today. Can you please share a bit about yourself?
Lanaire: Hi, Rhieme!
Yes, so I grew up in Lagos, Nigeria for about 15 years and had a beautiful childhood. I grew up surrounded by so many creative things, especially books. In fact, my parents loved to read, so I definitely inherited my reading culture from them. But apart from reading, I also spent a lot of my time writing and acting. So I guess, throughout my life, even up until now, I've always been passionate about trying to cultivate all my creative interests. It was actually in primary school where I started gaining confidence in my writing, having received a prestigious award for my poetry. Though I was only eight, I remember perceiving the award as this seal of approval telling me that “ well maybe I am good at this whole poetry thing”. And yeah, my passion for writing continued to grow, to the point where, when I was 15, my mum had told me to create a book (Also, just for context, writing this book was the only way I could leave Lagos to study for my A-levels). And so because I wanted to leave Nigeria so badly, I asked my friend, who was good at editing, to help edit my poems so I could get them published. My mum then helped me get a publisher, through which I released the book titled: “of ivory and ink”. The book then ended up forming the foundation of my play, called an “An evening with a verse writer ” , which was later adapted into film. I always love to start with this mini back story, as it helps me draw attention back to the major source of my inspiration which is my childhood, as it was just filled with so much creativity. In terms of my education, I studied sociology for my undergrad and creative writing for my master's. And fast forward to today, I am a poet, a playwright, a performer, and a PhD researcher in creative writing. Other fun facts about me: I love to play, as I feel like playfulness is so important in life, ( to the point where I now try to introduce playfulness in my writing and performances). I love visiting art galleries. I enjoy drinking excessive amounts of tea. I love colourful eyeshadow and I love fashion. I like to be close to busy areas, but live in quiet places. I love to journal and finally I love God.
Rhieme: Thank you for sharing Lanaire, that was so wholesome.
So over the last few episodes, I've spoken to entrepreneurs, business owners etc, to explore the ways that they've been pioneering. And already from what you've shared, it's clear that your path is so unique, especially given the confidence you've learnt to embrace. I'd love for you to share and expand on your journey of how you've been able to venture into the creative field?
Lanaire: Hmmm, I would say that my journey began with me following my curiosity. Whilst I was very intentional, there were still times where I didn't know what I was doing. So for context, I was initially supposed to study Law at university and then on results day, I ended up studying sociology. Although sociology is an academic discipline and perhaps not the most creative, it allowed me to think very critically. It also gave me a lot of time to pursue many of my interests at uni. Unlike my friends who studied science based subjects that were filled with constant labs, I had the luxury of time. Looking back now, I can say it truly was a gift in hindsight, because during my free time I read and wrote a lot !
What's more amazing is that in 2017 before I even started uni, I asked God to tell me all the things he wanted me to do. I asked him to give me a vision. And the vision God gave me was that “ I would write a play, I would be well known at my university and before I leave uni, people will not be able to think of any other poets except for me”. This meant that if one was to say Lanaire, they'd think poetry and if they say poetry they'd think Lanaire. At that time I had already been performing poetry in cafes and open mics, so performing at uni came quite naturally to me. I began to view university as this big, free networking space, because if you actually think about it, seminar rooms are literally free space. And so I remember telling myself “ Cool, if I have this much free space and time, then I need to do something about it”. From that point onwards, I created an action plan that “ Whatever open mic I come across, I will get myself out there.”. The reason I was so eager and proactive was because I really wanted to just share my poetry. As more and more people began identifying with my poetry, my mentor at the time started to point out to me the importance of strategy. I remember him saying “ Lanaire whilst it's great that you're getting paid, the amount you are receiving is so small, £50 for an open mic is literally the price of half a shoe”. Hearing this definitely shook me, but for him to affirm me and say “ You are worth more than that” really helped change my perspective. Of course this isn't to say that life is all about money, but if I was to make this become my full time career, my strategy had to change. So I began to think of ways I could create more value for myself. One of the ways I did so was through plays. Whilst poetry is fun and lovely, the added bonus of plays being longer, meant that they were more inviting and entertaining. Plus, with all the drama involved, it was easier to invite a larger crowd and obviously make more money. So yeah, I decided to do more playwriting.
What confirmed it all for me was in 2018 where I held a play called “You did not break us”. The play was centred around issues I was interested in, so things like Nigerian feminism, child marriage, FGM, etc. Even though it was a very messy play, it worked at the time and 300 people actually came to watch. What's even more crazy is that on the day there was a storm. So this really helped clarify that I was right where I needed to be. In that moment I felt God tell me: ”Lanaire, can't you see how happy people are, and how everyone is clapping for you, this is where you're meant to be.” Although I received all this confirmation, I still found reasons to doubt and the need to weigh my options. I kept thinking “Maybe I should just be creative on the side and pursue a more safer career path.” I considered going into policy, the civil service and even law. All this time I spent going back and forth allowed me to realise that working in the creative field is where I've always experienced the most ease. Not to say there weren't challenges, but I could be myself and it was never the case where I felt I was trying too hard. From here, God began to tell me “Lanaire, now that you've set on this path, the same way people are applying for consultancy and finance opportunities, is the same way you should be active in seeking more creative opportunities.” Many times as a creative, because you're doing something that's so instinctive, it's easy to neglect the need to be intentional, because a lot of times you're just going with the flow. So, God was really telling me: “No, you need to be strategic.
Remember what your friend said about making this a career”. And that's what I did. Every Wednesday, I made sure to apply for something. Whether it was submitting my poem to a magazine, applying for an open mic opportunity, or submitting my plays. I applied for anything and everything. I did this every single Wednesday for about two years and I thank God for all the positive opportunities I gained from doing so. Across my time at uni, I was blessed to get to perform my plays and poetry as well as create films. Doing this massively increased my confidence, as more people were recognising me. But the most important thing was that I had created value for myself. And one thing I always talk about with creatives is ownership. I'm really big on ownership. You know, it's great that you can perform for somebody and serve somebody else, but a mentor of mine has this speech where she advocates and says that “Africa needs to own the means of their production.” And I'm really, really big on that because as people we too need to own the means of production. And for me, owning the means of production was creating my production company, which I have at the moment called LAP. LAP was formed whilst I was at university. I essentially got my friends who were also creatives to come together and execute a collective vision centred around memory, be it personal, collective, and even cultural memory. In summary, I ventured into this space by following my curiosity and being intentional. And I'd say it all started with me accepting that this was where I was supposed to be.
Rhieme: Thank you for that. I love how it all started with you going back to the drawing board with God and just your willingness to ask: “What have you designed me for?”. And although you went through a period where you were resisting it, I love how over time you were able to accept the path God has placed you on. Being intentional and going with what God is saying to you is so important. Because I know there are a lot of people my age right now who are unsure of what to do and where to go. But one thing I always say is how we must find the time to sit down and let God speak. And whilst it isn't easy, especially given that God speaks in different ways, being able to lean into things, like you said, is key. Even if you don't get a massive word directly saying “ Go this way”, sometimes, they're just certain interests that keep on reiterating themselves.
Lanaire: That's true, there definitely are certain patterns and signs. With me, I always say to people, go back to your childhood and just observe your patterns, observe your tendencies, observe your hobbies and interests. I'm just passionate about childhood, because I think that it was that space in our lives where we were most in touch with ourselves, because we were so innocent. We weren't exposed to the ebbs and flows of adulthood. And, whilst I’m very aware that not everybody had the best childhood, I still think there are lessons that can be learned. So for me, I was always journaling, writing and inventing scenes. My sister and I had a lot of toys and we were obsessed with dolls. We had the baby stroller, the feeding bottle and everything. My mum had even created this play area in our living room, and me and my sister would imagine ourselves on a train in London. By us inventing these games, when I look at it now, those were literally scenes of a play. Why, because to create a play, you create scenes, you include action, conflict and we were doing that all the time. I’ve also been studying a lot about Christ and creativity. There's this book I’d recommend called “Redeeming a Renegade Creation”. It's all about how Bezalel, the author, was instructed by God to build a temple. He built this amazing temple and got lots of people to collaborate. And one thing God taught me is that a lot of creative people are like Bezalel. He had a calling and he obeyed his calling. I've also been studying the book of Ezekiel. And God has been teaching me that Ezekiel was actually a theatre maker. He used a lot of signs to explain things to people and demonstrated a lot of God's messages through drama. For me, these dramatic forms of expression kind of liken Ezekiel to a performance artist. So yeah, apart from childhood, the Bible and its characters also offer so many lessons about the creative field and just being confident enough to pursue what God has told us.
Rhieme: Wow, thanks for adding that. I love how God’s been teaching you based on the stories of other people. What I've even noticed with God is that although none of us will ever have the exact same “assignments' ', there are always going to be people with similar callings. So, it's always good to go back to these people's stories, explore their early backgrounds and study their patterns. I find that doing this makes it easy to apply their teachings and experiences. Plus it's a great source of encouragement. It's just amazing to know that, when you ask God to open up your eyes to see things you typically wouldn't, he really will come through.
Rhieme: Okay, so what has your journey been in terms of gaining confidence on your own unique path?
Lanaire: I think, firstly, I've had to practice. Practice is what gives you confidence. You know, there were times when I was very, very nervous to go on stage. But now, I get so excited. I still have a few butterflies, but the butterflies are not of fear anymore, instead they’re of excitement. So it really is just practice. Also, being a Christian, I know that what I'm doing is not just for me, it's for other people. Knowing this definitely helps with confidence because by engaging with the assignment, I'm essentially sewing into people's lives. Creativity is something I find really honourable and holy, because being able to create requires deep intimacy with God. And so given that God is the ultimate Creator and creative person, and I have been made in his image, then I myself have all authority in Christ Jesus to execute any creative vision. The foundation of my confidence stems from knowing who I am in Christ, so I’ve always seen it like, “If God is creative, then so am I. If God never doubts his abilities, then I can learn to do the same. Why, because I am made in his image.”
Another thing that has helped me is surrounding myself with people that speak life into me. I'm someone who's extremely intentional about what I consume and listen to. For instance, I don't watch the news because I'm a very sensitive person so it affects me. I just try my best not to surround myself with any negativity. That's not to say that I won't speak up against injustice, but I do think that everyone has to know themselves. In my case, because I know that the things I create are so connected to my heart, whatever comes out of me can only be a product of intimacy with God and others through love. So I have to be very intentional in ensuring that I don't let anything that's not pure affect my own body, spirit and soul. Again, this links with confidence because by clearly knowing my abilities and strengths, I'm then able to protect these gifts. For instance when I go on stage, I know I can be as genuine and authentic as I am supposed to be. Finally, I'd say vision boarding has also helped me in mapping out all the things that I’ve wanted to achieve. I remember in my second or first year of university, during a bible study fellowship, there was a girl who made us read Habakkuk 2:2 “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it”. There's a longer context to this story, but essentially I’d never stumbled upon that Bible verse in my whole life. And it really changed my life because it clarified the importance of vision boarding. It helped with my confidence because it revealed how unique my path was. But I've also drawn confidence from simply being inspired. So I love to include people like me as well as those who inspire me on my vision board too. Really, as long as I do what God says I should do, he will provide and complete all that I’ve started, as long as I am obedient.
Rhieme: Wow, I really love the emphasis you placed on relying on God's strength, rather than yours. It's something that I'm learning to do as well. Because whilst it's all well and good for us to boost ourselves with affirmations like “ You can do it”, at the end of the day we are still limited. That's why trusting more in God's ability is key and it reminds me of the bible verse that says God is faithful, even when we're faithless.
In fact, earlier on today I asked God “What's the work I need to get done today?” And God’s response was “ Don't see it as work, instead see it as what are the tasks that you've ordained me to do today from the beginning of time”. This really shocked me because I genuinely wasn't sure of what I needed to do, but just hearing him speak this over me was so inspiring. Personally, I've been in a place where I felt like God was demanding so much of me and I wasn't sure of whether or not I could do it. But knowing that whenever God asks you to do something, he will provide the resources, is what makes all the difference. Also what you said about being intentional with what you let in is so beautiful, because I’d never thought of it that way. Especially the whole point you made about what you take in will determine what you're able to produce. I remember the other day God saying to me that whilst lots of people say they want to produce excellent things, they haven't first become the type of person who is able to do so. For example with uni many people want to get a 1st but the question God poses is, have you become the person who is able to produce a 1st? And it wasn't even from a “you need to study 10 times harder'' perspective, but it was more centred around “What is your mindset like ?” So for instance, when you're writing notes, are you doing it with the mindset of achieving a 1st. When I heard all this I was like, wow. Because from a worldly perspective, we are just told to study X amount of times, do XYZ, and then you'll see results. But what God had explained to me was, you need to become that person. You can't produce what you've not become because what you produce is directly linked to the type of person you are.
Lanaire: There's so much beauty in that. When God is pruning us, he's also pruning our character. For me, I was a bad procrastinator, I was so bad. And it wasn't even that I was procrastinating out of laziness. I just always had a lot of performances, so my time spent at school or in the library wasn't the best. But I remember in my second year, there was a girl called Jess, who told me that I needed to be strategic if I wanted to get a 1st. So like you said, it's not about studying for 25 hours, it's about asking the Holy Spirit, what are the things I need to do, who are the people I need to reach out to. So those are things I did. I remember when I was writing my dissertation, the Holy Spirit told me that I should use a specific font because my supervisor would like it. Although it seemed so small, I was certain she would have felt happier seeing 1000 words in a font she liked. So yeah, God really does care about the little things. And when we involve him in the process, we will always produce fruit that will last. Because it's not just about the fruit itself, it's also about ensuring the fruit that will last. Hence why we must draw strength from God, because by ourselves it wont work, it's impossible. And one thing I've been learning in relation to this is delegation.
One of my friends, Victor, made me study Exodus 18, and in the story Moses’ father in law was telling Moses: “ Son you’re an amazing leader, but you can't keep carrying these burdens upon yourself, learn to delegate”. And so with me, whilst I've always delegated, it was never really intentional, it was more so that I needed a friend to help me with things. But having left uni and gotten older, my access to people became limited, to the point where I'm now having to pay people. Yet regardless of whether it's paid or not, delegation is another strategic principle that shouldn't be overlooked. I think as we grow in our faith and the things we've been called to do, it's crucial to adopt new methods. We can't keep using the same methods we’ve used in the past in areas of our lives that now look completely different.
Rhieme: 100%. It all links back to asking God “ Lord, what are the strategies needed for this season?” For example, God may be telling you to build a team. And whilst you may be thinking “ But why, my business is so small”, God isn't speaking based on what you can see but rather where he's taking you. And so the strategies God provides will always ensure that we are positioned and prepped for the increase he has planned for our lives. This whole thing can be compared to the birthing process. Because even when the baby hasn't come out yet, there are still midwives, nurses and people around. Like, it wouldn't make sense for all these people to come, just whilst the child starts coming out. So if it doesn't make sense in this context, then the same is also true with regards to the things we're trying to build or pursue. Lastly I love the point you made earlier on about how it's not everything being about us. I, for one, truly believe that God is a generational God. Everything he's building is to outlive us, hence why it's best that we always strive to do things well whilst relying on his firm foundation.
Rhieme: Following then, where would you say your inspiration comes from? Also, what advice would you give to others currently dealing with creative block?
Lanaire: So my inspiration comes from many things, the first being God. I definitely get most of my ideas for spending time in the secret place with him. For example, when I was writing my play, I remember God had led me to study both Daniel and Judges. And he basically said to me “you will see it all here”. Through his Word, he was revealing to me different parallels from specific verses that I could use in the play. For instance, in Judges 5, Deborah and Barak had sung a Victory hymn. And God was saying “Okay, you've learned that poetry and songs were used in this chapter, how are you going to apply this to your play?” And so the way I applied it was that during one of the scenes, I got all the women to sing protest songs about what they were going through in front of the king's palace. So, yeah, I've learned a lot from studying the Bible, spending time with God and relying on the Holy Spirit as my inspiration. One of my favourite lines ever comes from the poem “Paradise Lost '' that reads, “Oh heavenly muse”. And essentially, the writer is calling on the Holy Spirit to come down from heaven to earth and help him.
As well as God, my mom has been a huge source of inspiration. She features a lot in my work because her contributions in my life have been immense. Not only is she a person that just lives out kindness and brilliance, but she's always encouraged me. Whenever I had performances, I would practice in front of her. And she'd always say things like “Okay you're going to fast here, slow down”, or, “Lanaire I think you should do it this way instead”. So yeah, I really am grateful and inspired by all those moments shared with her, because it really helped me to evolve as well as develop my craft. I also draw inspiration from reading books. I love reading. So books, articles, tweets, text messages. I even enjoy listening to people's conversations, to the point where I’ll be on the train with headphones on, but I've paused my music to eavesdrop. But yeah whenever I read something interesting, I’ll make sure to write it down. Also because I'm a visual learner, art galleries are one of my favourite places to visit too.
In terms of what advice I would give regarding creative block, I would first identify the root. Majority of times, the root isn't necessarily that you have a lack of ideas, but it might be that your habits need to change. For instance, there was a time when I was struggling with this play, but after a friend of mine suggested to me this method of using sticky notes, it made my ideas flow a lot more easier. So, yeah, figuring out what the roots are and whether or not your methods need to change. Secondly, I'd say surround yourself with community. I've noticed that whenever I'm talking to people about my ideas, I find it easier to write. There's just something about being able to explain an idea, because it makes it easier to then articulate it fully through writing. For example you could try to explain your essay to a friend or record voice notes of yourself. So for those who feel stuck, I’d always encourage them to audibly dictate what it is they want to create.
I also think it's important to point out that creative block is oftentimes a key indicator that you need to rest. One of my friends had told me she was struggling to write and I said to her, maybe this is your season of just consuming and reading. It isn't just about writing. By immersing yourself into the world you want to replicate, it becomes easier to express that world through your creative medium. But in line with everything, I would just say to assess your habits because as humans we are creatures of habits. If you commit to doing things enough times, it will come naturally. If everyday you say to yourself “I'm going to do two hours of work from 10 to 12.”, eventually the creative block will fall because now you're continually chipping away at the “block”. Also, never underestimate the power of a change in scenery. I know for me even just changing my position from time to time does wonders. I’ll even be in the same house, yet I switch from sitting at my desk to standing. I feel like this movement really allows things to flow.
Rhieme: Thank you for all you shared. Firstly I love the role your mom has played in your journey, because it just goes to show that we'll always have people around us. Especially given how easy it can be to overlook family members. But knowing that there's a reason God has placed you amongst such people really helps. I've even experienced it personally, where I’d tell one of my friends an idea and they’d straight away make me see it from multiple perspectives, uncovering things I'd yet to consider. And so to me, I know that, that can only be God hence why I'm a big advocate for sharing with other people. However, we also need to be very cautious of who we choose to share things with. I say this because not everyone is going to be aligned with your vision. Most of the time, people will just look for different ways to poke and belittle your dreams and ideas. They could say things such as “You can't do this”, or “I have never seen it done before, it wont work'”. So being able to differentiate between the type of people who surround you is so important. For those who do help you in expanding your vision, always remember that God was faithful to give them the ability to see it.
Also I love how you touched on the importance of rest. Pausing really allows us to gain clarity on the current seasons we are walking in. Because, there are times where ,although you may not be producing anything externally, behind the scenes there's a lot going on. So I think by engaging in rest, you allow yourself to be built up as a person in preparation for what you're about to build. And I myself can attest to this as it happened to me last year. So for context, I had been releasing one episode every week, from May to December because that was what God had asked me to do. Looking back now it's been crazy. People would always say yes and I'd never received any straight rejections from those I'd asked to interview. But in December, God had told me to just stop. Obviously when he said this, I didn't know what was next in any way, but I reassured myself that this is God, so let me listen to the person who is instructing me. And so by intentionally slowing down, I ended up benefitting in so many different ways, as God really started blowing things up. But again thank you so much for sharing.
Rhieme: Despite having watched you from afar, I’ve always admired the unique way that you are able to present yourself through your plays and poetry. How have you learnt to express your true self with confidence?
Lanaire: Thank you and wow such a good question. I think one of my favourite Bible stories is the one where Jesus is with the disciples and the kids all want to come. Then Jesus’ response is to let the kids come to me. I love it because it reflects how much the father loves his children dearly. And so for me, I've had to embrace childlikeness and vulnerability on stage, which is scary. For instance there’ll be times where I instinctively want to do something, but then I think, “ Oh, but how would I look if I do this.” But the holy spirit has shown me that it's less about how others perceive me and more about becoming his vessel. For example, whenever I perform I improvise a lot. Of course I plan some things, but I just enjoy having that leeway. So, I remember, last Sunday I performed one of my poems called "Cinco" at this gallery. And, whilst performing the Holy Spirit said to me “ask the audience if anyone knows what cinco is, as it was actually the name of a game. When I asked, I didn't really know what to do next, but again I was going with the flow and trusting God's prompting. He then told me to invite those people on stage. When they got on stage, we started playing the game, but some didn't get it that well. So there was a bit of awkwardness, as I'm there just trying to teach them. And in that moment, I could have gotten frustrated and said “ Don't worry, it's fine you can just go and sit down” . But in my head I said to myself “ No, God told me to do this and he brought these people here for a reason”. So, yes whilst the cameras and the people watching made it more intense, God was reminding me of the fact that my performance style is very childlike in nature. My strengths are focused on spontaneity and improvisation and how playfulness is my biggest proxy. Interestingly, these are all the actual techniques that people have studied. Anyways, at that moment, I decided to press on and keep going. And I remember after the play had ended, someone came to me and said “ Oh my goodness, Lanaire, I loved that so much, you're so confident.” and to myself i'm thinking, hmmm, if only you knew what was going on in my head. But it really just goes to show that when we obey the Holy Spirit, things all come together, and it will all work together for good.
Therefore, I’d say it's all about surrendering. At this point I just choose to live out my life with full surrender, meaning whatever God says, I do - even if it looks silly. For example, last year God told me to quit social media for six months, which at the time didn't make any sense as I had just finished doing this big festival. This festival had essentially catapulted me to the point where there were more people engaging with my work. So it felt counterintuitive to think that despite being in a place where I'm receiving a lot of attention God is now telling me to not capitalise on it but instead retreat. And God was saying whilst yes it might seem counterintuitive, know that I am a countercultural person. It's like in Romans where it talks about not conforming to things of the world, but to instead be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And it's true, I cannot stress how much my mind was renewed. I ended up writing about 40,000 words in those six months of no social media. And it wasn't even just that my work quality improved, but I was also able to reap the fruits I knew were going to last a lifetime. For instance, I now have a grant for one of my plays, where by God's grace, the play will end up touring in the future. But it's the fact that the play itself was a product of me being off social media. So it's about obedience. Because having seen God's track record of success in my life, I can now trust him to give me instructions that are for my good. At the time many were saying to me “ Lanaire, why are you offline, you should be online” and this sometimes led me to question if it was worth it. But again I chose to root my confidence in Christ and not in what anyone says. So yeah, I think in summary I'll say my confidence is from God. Secondly, embracing my childlike self and just relating back to the bible verse where Jesus says to be like children. And the third thing would be surrendering and living as present as you can. By not worrying too much about what's next, you'll find that in your obedience, the Holy Spirit will literally guide every single step.
Rhieme: That was so beautiful, especially the point of surrendering. Because the minute you do, you’re allowing God to move freely. Also the fact that the methods God gave you were methods that had been already tried and proven elsewhere is so interesting. It shows that God is always 10 steps ahead of other people. I remember a time when I asked God for a study strategy and he gave me specific colours to code my notes. Then he said, Okay, now on google to check for the top colours that aid memory. Literally all the colours he told me were there. And for context, I had already been worrying about school, so the fact that God was so specific to even align with the physical facts was just so reassuring for me.
Lanaire: It's so true, God is very specific. And that's why it's not good to compare yourself to other people, because you don't know the instructions that God has given them. So yeah, never assume that what others have done will automatically work for you. Not to say you shouldn't study what others are doing, because I myself love to learn and borrow strategies, but it's to then go back and ask God, which one should I take and which do I need to leave.
I remember even with my performance style, there was a time where I kind of felt I should be more rhythmic. Like there are poets who do slam poetry, and they use a lot of rhyme, rhythm and it's similar to rap. And I really wanted to do that because I thought it would be so cool. But I realised that was just not me and if I'd tried to be somebody else, I’d essentially be doing a disservice to who God called me to be. Like there's only one Lanaire in the world. So I love that you touched on God's specificity.
Rhieme: Exactly ! Adding to that, it's also important to not compare yourself to someone who is seeing the fruition of their seeds whilst you’ve only begun sowing yours. For instance with yourself, you went off social media for a while, during which you were actively sewing seeds. And so as you've stepped back into the spotlight , someone else may think wow how is she able to do all of this. And so it becomes a thing of, “Sis, if only you knew what led to everything you're seeing now.”
Lanaire: Yeah, it's just so important to obey God, and to follow these principles of the Bible, that what you sow, you will truly reap. Because there are going to be times where things get difficult and you feel tempted to abandon everything. But by choosing to trust God regardless plus surrounding yourself with community, it's easy to be reminded of your vision and to then keep pressing forward. There are times when I did not receive any theatre related opportunities e.g. when COVID happened. And yeah, whilst I was focusing on my academics at the time, when I was younger all I ever wanted was to be in the spotlight. It's so easy to want the light, not realising that when the light comes, it also comes accompanied with extra workload. So when God withheld these “spotlight” opportunities from me, really he was doing me a favour because he knew I wasn't prepared. As with everything, learning to understand God's timing is so important because in his timing, he is gracious to prune and build our characters, equipping us with the knowledge and wisdom we need.
Rhieme: Character is something that matters a lot to me as well. Because, if your character isn't built for where God is taking you and you still continue in your ways, then you're essentially being the cause of your own downfall.
Rhieme: So, the final question I have is what advice would you give to anyone dealing with uncertainty, especially if they know they're about to journey down a road less travelled?
Lanaire: The first thing I'd advise is journaling. Journal your feelings, journal your desires, journal your fears, everything. When dealing with uncertainty, it's important to stay in touch with your emotions, as your emotions guide a lot of your actions. Using myself as an example, when I was writing a play last year, I was really worried that the play wouldn't get noticed. Although I applied to a few playwrights and awards, none of them were promising any commissions. So in some sense, I was dealing with uncertainty but by journaling and talking to God about how I was feeling, I was able to still remain at ease. There's a verse in the bible which reads tomorrow shall take thought of itself. So rather than being fixated on the worries of tomorrow I'd encourage people to just be present, by living and embracing the now.
The second thing would be, to focus less on the things you can't control and more on what you can. So in my case, I can control my writing speed, I can control what I create, but I can't control whether somebody says yes or no to an application. I also really believe in high risk, high reward, so in terms of going on the road less travelled, remember that there are people who’ve done the same thing you're trying to do. So although you may have your own individual blueprints , now it's about asking God what do I need to borrow or replicate, for there really is nothing new under the sun.
My last piece of advice would be to keep the vision in mind. Uncertainty is a human experience that everybody goes through but remembering the vision helps to aid the experience. What that looks like practically depends on the person, but for me I have a vision board as my wallpaper on my phone and iPad. So whilst writing my play, even though I hadn't even received any commission yet. The fact that I was seeing the picture of the theatre I’d wanted, really reassured me that it was still possible for me. I think vision boarding is a great, practical way to relieve uncertainty. Also, uncertainty and faith can be likened to being sisters and brothers, because faith is simply the embracing of uncertainty. The Bible also talks about faith being the evidence of things not seen. So I'd even go as far to say that, for those dealing with uncertainty, definitely study the Hebrews 11. Not only does the chapter dive deep into what faith really is, it also reveals how and how different bible characters like Abraham and Noah, utilised their faith during uncertain times. There's just so much to be learnt and applied into your own life.
Rhieme: Wow, thank you so much. Even listening to you share that, a phrase you said earlier on just came to mind about seeing God's track record of success in your life, because I feel that journaling can help to store these track records as well. With me, whenever something big happens I write it down, because I know that in the times where I'm doubtful, my journal is able to offer me that glimpse of how far God has carried me. It also acts as a reminder from God to trust that things will continue to get better.
Lanaire: Yes, God will surely never leave us nor forsake us. So when you've been given an assignment, know that God has already gone out of his way to ensure it's fully completed. That alone gives me hope.
Rhieme: Amen ! Thank you so much Lanaire for all you've shared. Do you have any last words you'd like to share?
Lanaire: Well, I have a play that's coming up on April 28th - 29th. It's in Coventry at the Belgrade theatre and it's a play on the women's revolts, which is was an anti colonial feminist movements against colonial taxation in the late 1940s Nigeria. It's a really exciting play and I'm really excited for people to see it. Coventry is only an hour from London by train too, so yeah. Thank you so much Rhieme for this conversation, I've enjoyed being able to reflect on a Saturday afternoon.
Any key-takeaways? Share below in the comments! And make sure you check out Lanaire's play on the 28th-29th of April! We'll see you next week.